Misplaced Frustration

frus·tra·tion:

the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something

It’s been one of those days. Off my game. Agitated. Tense. Call it what you will, I don’t like how I am showing up today.

Case in point: I spent a decent amount of time taking whatever it is out on my husband by vigorously expressing my exasperation over a big landscaping project that got started too late and is taking too long. Even though that is clearly not the issue,

But it felt so good to let it out.

After a few long moments I tried again.

“I think this landscaping project is simply a good place to take out my frustration over all the things I feel like I can’t change, and you were the place I chose to take it out. I’m sorry.”

I’m frustrated these days. Maybe you are too.

Over what?

Well, you name it. COVID 19, the looming election, global warming, systemic racism, income disparity, face mask fatigue, people who refuse to wear face masks, fear mongering, people that I love who are hurting, long hold times waiting for answers to urgent questions, dualistic thinking, separation from friends and family, the hidden history of our country that I never learned about until now, the loss of concern for the common good, student loans, healthcare, the threat to our democracy, and all of the other things that are probably on your mind too.

Can you blame us for being frustrated?

Me either.

Let’s just guard against taking out that frustration on those we love.

Peace Out

As it turns out, maintaining inner peace is no piece of cake. After writing yesterday about Choosing Peace, I woke up with the best of intentions. I read in my morning book, Into The Magic Shop by James Doty, learning about how to breathe your body into a state of peaceful calm. After that, I spent some time in meditation, got ready to go the gym, and had our sacred morning hug with my husband. As far as I could tell, I was choosing peace, peace, and more peace.

Then it all went to hell in a hand basket.

Over what kind of laundry detergent to purchase.

My husband at one end of the counter with his list of the most effective products à la Consumer Reports, me on the other end listing out my environmental concerns. It wasn’t one of my finer moments when I accused him of being “fastidious” to a fault, and, I had to add, at the expense of our planet, not to mention our daughters who care about such things.

Peace was out, frustration was in.

As far as I could see in that moment either one cared about the environment, or one did not. Which is precisely where the problem lay; either-or-thinking. Once my feet were firmly planted in needing to be right, it became about winning or losing, and it’s hard to find peace in the midst of a battle.

To be clear, maintaining an inner sense of peace doesn’t mean going along to get along, or acting conciliatory to avoid conflict. But peace is a shelter that can be found in the midst of almost any storm, and thankfully, by the time I got home from the gym, I’d found my way back there.

When we resumed our conversation I discovered, as it turns out, that one can both care about the environment and clean laundry.

Peace out.

✌️