Getting Our Act Together

I don’t write about politics, and I’m not about to start.

Except to say this…

We the people have got to get our act together.

I live in a small rural town, and I’ve come to see political yard signs as one more way to divide us rather than inspire us to become curious about our neighbor’s perspective. If I actually did put one up for this upcoming election, I suspect mine would be in the minority of those displayed in the beautiful valley that I share with my goodhearted, and like me, patriotic neighbors. Rather than sparking curiosity, I worry that it would only further fan the flames of division that are threatening the country that we the people all love.

The truth is, it has become scary as hell to bring up anything political (with anyone other than those who “agree” with us). With family who lean in a different direction than we do. With friends who cast their sacred votes differently than we do for reasons that make good sense to them just as ours do to us. With our neighbors who identify with a different political party than we do. With colleagues upon whom we depend for a job well done, but don’t dare broach certain subjects around the metaphorical water cooler. With the stranger in line at the grocery store who, nevertheless, is a fellow citizen of this country that we the people all love.

But if we the people are going to get our act together, then it’s time that we the people put on our big boy/girl/however-you-identify pants, and start talking with each other. But because it’s scary, because it feels like a bridge too far, we don’t do it.

But what if we did, and where could we start?

How about with one simple question…

How are you feeling about this election?

It’s a question that doesn’t demand to know what party we identify with.

How are you feeling about this election?

It’s a question that doesn’t demand to know who we are going to vote for and why.

How are you feeling about this election?

It’s a question that doesn’t demand to know who we blame for the mess we’re in, or to whom we attribute the progress we have or haven’t made.

How are you feeling about this election?

It’s a question that invites us to get out of our ideological heads and into our human hearts. It’s a question to which there is no wrong answer, just my answer, your answer, their answer, all of which are true, and many of which I suspect are the same, even if for different reasons.

Almost all fruitful endeavors, conversations, inventions, solutions, and relationships begin with and are sustained by good questions. Which, when asked and received with a sense of curiosity and grace, can lead to the next question. And the next and the next, and the next, until before we know it, we’ve found ourselves on some common ground, even if only a sliver. And a sliver is a place to start.

For any of us who watched one of the conventions, we were challenged to stop complaining and “do something”. If we the people are going to get our act together, maybe it starts with each of us doing something that connects us rather than divides us. Like talking with each other.

So, how are you feeling about this election?

I’m so terrified that you asked, but here goes.

I’m feeling hopeful, optimistic, scared, and yes, joyful.

Hmm. Tell me more about that. and why you’re feeling that way.

I’m a little less scared and a tiny bit more glad that you asked.

I’m hopeful that it will lead us forward. That it might pave the way for us to address the very real challenges that we the people face, and that our children and grandchildren will face after we’re gone.

I’m optimistic that it will embolden anyone who feels that their party has been stolen from them to take ownership of it again, because everyone is needed for we the people to get our collective act together.

I’m scared that too many of us will choose party over country, vote against someone rather than for something, do nothing out of despair that their vote doesn’t matter or in protest against an imperfect system, rather than exercising their right to vote in order to perfect our union just a little bit more.

And, yes, I’m feeling joyful that we might actually have a chance to bring a lot of us, from both sides of the aisle, a bit closer together, which is where the shit we all care about actually gets done.

So, how are you feeling about this election?

Over Winter?

We are so over winter. At least that’s what I am hearing from almost everyone I know, and plenty of people I don’t. People are tired of the cold, the gray, the wet, and in my little neck of the woods, the snow that just keeps coming.

But what if winter isn’t done with us yet?

It’s been a long winter.

What, I wonder, is preparing to grow?

What, I wonder, needs a little more time in order to be ready to flourish?

What, I wonder, will show itself, if we are willing to wait but a little longer?

Whatever it is, I’ll bet it’s worth the wait.

A New Start To The Day

The news ain’t great these days.

Most mornings as I wait the recommended four minutes before I can press the coffee, I scan my email inbox. Along with the tantalizing smell of freshly ground coffee brewing, my senses are assaulted with the latest New York Times Breaking News Headlines. While there is the very occasional headline that to my heart constitutes good news—the swearing in of Judge Katanji Brown Jackson—most of the time what I read breaks my heart a little more—the past two weeks have almost put me under—and hope is hard to find.

It’s not a great way to start the day.

So, I changed it.

I unsubscribed to The NY Times newsletter.

I subscribed to Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s A Hundred Falling Veils: there’s a poem in every day

This morning I was greeted with my first poem from Rosemerry, about, of all things, hope. (You can find her poem, Longing to Be Seen here)

How we start the day matters. Along with coffee and time with my husband and our dog as the sunlight first hits the meadow, I’m choosing to start my day with poetry, and a little hope.

Maybe you will too.

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(Now before you go jumping to any conclusions, it’s not that I don’t want to be informed about the goings on in the world. I am simply choosing not to start my day there. Being part of a well informed citizenry matters to me, and it should matter to you too. Our democracy depends on it. There are good sources of news, as in real information as opposed to opinion and rhetoric out there, and, spoiler alert, they are not found on social media.)

Hopeishness

hope | hōp |

grounds for believing that something good may happen

hope | hōp |

want something to happen or be the case

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There is little certainty in life beyond its eventual ending. Depending on how we look at it, this is either a very comforting thought, or a deeply troubling one. If we are looking for certainty beyond our own eventuality, It will be a long wait.

That’s where hope comes in.

Hope is both a noun and a verb. For it to infuse our lives, hope must not only be something we see, but also something we do.

Hope as a noun invites us to look for the evidence that things will work out. Maybe not in the short term, but in the long run. Since the eye, (and the heart) see what they look for, to have hope requires that we train ourselves to recognize it when we see it, and save it up for those times when it is nowhere in sight.

Hope as a verb bids us dare to imagine something being true. In this way, it is like a muscle with which we work for what we want. Walking toward what we envision, without yoking ourselves to certainty, we are free to collaborate with life and whatever it brings our way.

Hope, as much as we yearn for it, is hard. Sometimes life is such that hope feels impossible. Almost like a waste of our time, when life turns on a dime. What was true yesterday no longer is. What we counted on an hour ago crumbles beneath our feet. What we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the moment before evaporates in front of our very eyes. Given this precarious nature of life, it is no wonder that we go from hopeful to hopeless in the blink of our eye, with nothing in between. Hope can feel like an either or proposition. Getting it right or getting it wrong. A dualistic way of living with only two choices—we can either be full of hope, or not.

That’s where hopeishness comes in.

Hopeishness sits squarely between hopeful and hopeless.

Always there and never out of our reach.

Hopeishness detaches us from the outcome, loosens the grip of fear, and settles us in the present moment, which is all we’ve ever had anyway. It reminds us of all the evidence we’ve collected along the way, making it possible for us to simply take the next right step without needing to know exactly how it will all turn out.

It may not be a real word, but hopeishness is a real thing.

Hope As A Practice

Every day we get to choose whether to give

the microphone to hope or fear.

The choice we make is the life we’ll lead.

Bob Goff

Someone recently shared this quote with me, and I couldn’t agree more. The words ring true in my head and my heart and in my experience.

However.

Especially now, there are days when I am in need of the tiniest of victories, and choosing to listen to the voice of hope in the morning is no guarantee that it will stay with me for the day. Fear can ambush me at any moment, and when it does, I have to choose to pry the microphone out of fear’s ferocious grip, and place it firmly back in the hands of hope. And then do it again. Hope is a practice.

Hope isn’t seeing the silver lining in a pit of despair. It is mining for the gold that is found buried deep in the heart of struggle.

Hope isn’t looking at the bright side of dark realities. It is choosing to be a light in dark times.

Hope isn’t passive. As I was reminded by someone recently, it requires something of us. It calls on us not to just choose it, but to work for it. Not to just wait for it, but to watch for it. To pursue it by pushing toward something better.

Like I said. Hope is a practice.

Photo by egil sjøholt from Pexels

Hope Is A Team Sport

I’m not sure when it started.

Maybe it was the year that we bought a piece of property, sold our house, and put everything we owned in storage, as we planned and began building our mountain home. While construction continued we split our time between the old airstream parked on our property, and a string of house-sitting gigs we cobbled together. Needless to say, we’d taken on a lot, let go of even more, life felt untethered, and I often needed reassurance that everything would be ok. As I often do when I am in need of hope that all is well, or at least will be, I would turn to my husband Tom, and after hearing my concerns, he would put his hands on my shoulders, lock eyes with me, and say…

“It’s gonna be ok.”

And I would believe him.

I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s said those same words to me.

“It’s gonna be ok.”

And I believe him.

Anymore, I don’t even have to explain what I’m anxious about. I just tell him that I need him to say it to me. And he does.

“It’s gonna be ok.”

And I believe him.

What I love about this little routine we have together, is that his words are always true. It doesn’t mean that things are always going to work out the way I want, or that there haven’t been and won’t continue to be challenges, heartaches, and difficulties. For me, it means that come what may, we will find our way through. That there is a deep and abiding love that supports and surrounds us, not to save us from trouble, but to travel with us in the midst of it. That in the long run, love and goodness always win.

When it boils down to it, hope is a team sport, and everyone can play. We offer hope to one another, taking turns putting our hands on one another’s shoulders, locking eyes and saying…

“It’s gonna be ok.”

ATG Photography

#dailydoseofhope

To HOPE is to be in a confident state of anticipation and expectation.

Hope can mean different things to different people. For me, it is to set an intention to look for good things to occur, to believe that goodness is always an option, and that in the long run, goodness will prevail, despite evidence to the contrary.

Hope is both a choice and a practice, and In order to keep hope alive, we need to look for it, foster it, and participate in it.

Every day.

For example:

Gracie, our 8 week old chocolate labradoodle, has accepted us as her family. After only four days here, she feels safe and secure in her new home, invites us to play with abandon, and is sleeping peacefully in her crate, which means we are sleeping too. Because of Gracie, I am filled with hope for what family, trust, play, and a good night of sleep can do

This morning my good friend David Berry gave me a shout out in his daily blog. He included a link to a piece I’d written, referred to me as his friend and thought partner, and then, using my words as a jumping off place, offered his own piece that is both beautiful and profoundly practical. Because of David, I am filled with hope for what collaboration, friendship, a passion for doing good work, and offering our gifts to the world can do.

I heard James Doty, neurosurgeon, tell Krista Tippet (On Being) that he believes we are at the beginning of the Age of Compassion. If that possibility isn’t a dose of hope, I don’t know what is. His book, Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart arrived today, and I can’t wait to dive in. Because of Dr. Doty, I am filled with hope for what compassion, new discoveries in neurosurgery, and the magic that happens when head and heart are connected can do

My husband turned 71 today, and he can run circles around men many years younger. After 25 years together, there isn’t a person on the planet that I’d rather spend my time with. He chooses to show up for life and our marriage every day every day. Because of Tom, I am filled with hope for what commitment, love, and an exuberance for life can do.

And, then of course, there’s Nate Burleson. An American football commentator and former WR in the NFL, he talks in this clip about why he believes the Seattle Seahawks are going to make it into the playoffs. My team had an especially slow start this season, but they are on a roll now. Because of Nate’s confidence in the Hawks, I am filled with hope for what determination, grit, brotherhood, and a unique coaching philosophy can do. Go Hawks!

Like exercise and taking your vitamins, make sure and get your #dailydoseofhope

Ushering In Hope

Advent begins today, and each Sunday ushers in a different theme. As it is an especially meaningful season in my spiritual tradition, I decided to write through each one over the course of the next four weeks.

Today ushers in the week of Hope.

Let’s start with the basics. What is hope?

The dictionary defines it as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. We set our sights on an aspiration. We look to the fulfillment of a wish or desire. We focus on what we do want to happen, rather that what we don’t. We allow ourselves to take in the feeling of expectancy, stay close to it, and take steps to bring it into being.

Several months ago, Tom and I decided that it might be time to bring a dog into our home. Knowing that it is a big commitment, and a bit of a game-changer, we began to set our hopes on the right dog appearing at the right time.

Well, she did.

Meet Gracie.

Causes For Hope

 “Hope, like every virtue, is a choice that becomes a practice that becomes spiritual muscle memory. It’s a renewable resource for moving through life as it is, not as we wish it to be.” —Krista Tippett

At the end of her interviews, Krista Tippett, host of the On Being podcast, has taken to asking her guests some form of the following question:

What is giving you cause for hope right now?

With dire warnings from U.N. Scientists that we have little more than a decade to get climate change under control, the deadly California wildfires, widening political divides, and toxic tweets meant to fuel fear and incite anger, it seems a question especially relevant to our times. When we train our attention on all of the individual and collective problems around us, it is far too easy to lose hope. Since hope deferred makes the heart sick (Proverbs 13:6), and if, as Ms. Tippett suggests, hope can become a practice that becomes a resource for living with the life we have, I’ve decided hers is a question worth answering on a daily basis. Maybe you would like to join me.

As I have embarked on this new spiritual practice, my eyes are beginning to glimpse causes for hope everywhere, and in unexpected places. 

The Lyft driver who fled Vietnam decades ago, who has a business that exports old plastic fishing nets used on commercial fishing boats back to his home country where they are put to use by fishermen there. When no longer useable, they are melted down and reused to manufacture other goods. Prior to his business, many of those nets were simply discarded into the ocean. 

The new wave of young women elected to political offices around the country. 

Young parents in our family raising their little boys to give words to their feelings, and their little girls to speak up for themselves.

A school educating girls to think critically, lead confidently, and live honorably. 

Girls who code. 

Climbing hills pain free after almost a year of slow but steady rehab. 

And, true confession, the Seattle Seahawks beating the Green Bay Packers. 

What is giving you cause of hope right now?