Fashion Statement

“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who’s wearing it.”  ~Yves Sait Laurent

“I love your style!”

If I had a dollar for every time someone has sidled up to me with those exact words, I would have an unlimited clothing budget. While I love it when people compliment my style, it kind of cracks me up. I’ve been rocking the same style for years, which means that I am never in style with the latest look.

But I am apparently in style with my self. Somehow the way I put myself together on the outside matches the way I’m put together on the inside. 

I think that is what we are all after, after all. To be clothed in our true self. Lots of years ago, I went to a business lunch clothed in anything but. I was on a road trip with my sister, and she was coming with me to meet the literary agent for Letters to Our Daughters. As I was about to get dressed for the meeting, my sister suggested that I might want to borrow something of hers instead. While I knew then (as I do now) that she always has my best interest at heart, when it comes to fashion, she and I couldn’t be more different.

In a word, her style is fancy.

Mine is not. 

Ignoring my inner fashion editor I slipped on her clothes, and slipped out of myself. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more uncomfortable in my own skin, covered as it was in someone else’s cloth, and I couldn’t finish my overpriced salad fast enough. 

Lesson learned.  

When it comes to fashioning a wardrobe, or fashioning a life, remember the the words of Oscar Wilde...”Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

PS... if you want to see who I might have been, if I’d lived in a galaxy far, far away....http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Maz_Kanata

Fashion Statement

“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who’s wearing it.”  ~Yves Sait Laurent

“I love your style!”

If I had a dollar for every time someone has sidled up to me with those exact words, I would have an unlimited clothing budget. While I love it when people compliment my style, it kind of cracks me up. I’ve been rocking the same style for years, which means that I am never in style with the latest look.

But I am apparently in style with my self. Somehow the way I put myself together on the outside matches the way I’m put together on the inside. 

I think that is what we are all after, after all. To be clothed in our true self. Lots of years ago, I went to a business lunch clothed in anything but. I was on a road trip with my sister, and she was coming with me to meet the literary agent for Letters to Our Daughters. As I was about to get dressed for the meeting, my sister suggested that I might want to borrow something of hers instead. While I knew then (as I do now) that she always has my best interest at heart, when it comes to fashion, she and I couldn’t be more different.

In a word, her style is fancy.

Mine is not. 

Ignoring my inner fashion editor I slipped on her clothes, and slipped out of myself. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more uncomfortable in my own skin, covered as it was in someone else’s cloth, and I couldn’t finish my overpriced salad fast enough. 

Lesson learned.  

When it comes to fashioning a wardrobe, or fashioning a life, remember the the words of Oscar Wilde...”Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

PS... if you want to see who I might have been, if I’d lived in a galaxy far, far away....http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Maz_Kanata

Sit Down and Rest

 “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day...By the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all his work.”

~ Genesis 1:31 & 2:2

When I stepped into the atrium of the Glyptoteket (an art museum in Copenhagen, which, incidentally, is funded by the Carlsberg Foundation - as in the beer) the space took my breath away. There was something about it that made it impossible for me to do anything but sit down, and rest. 

We eventually continued our tour of the museum, lingering in front of sculptures from the ancient world. But that atrium space kept calling me back. To sit down, and rest. The air was soft, the light gentle, and the temperature warm and cool all at once. It felt like sitting in the midst of God’s newly created world. The world that was proclaimed good. Very good in fact. The one in which to remember to sit down, and rest.

In the Biblical story of creation, God brings the world into being, creating the heavens, the earth, and everything in them. As She looked over His work at the end of each day, She would proclaim it good. Very good in fact. And then...and then...on the seventh day, He does the unthinkable...She sits down (taking a little literary license here) and rests. 

We are all tiny little creators, bringing our own worlds into being. Like the creator, we work to create the world in which we live. But unlike the creator, we often forget to look out over our work and proclaim it good. Very good in fact. Also unlke the creator, we forget to sit down, (same license taken here) and rest. 

Sitting in that atrium, I was reminded of my desire to do good work. To work hard at doing work worthy of being called good. Very good in fact. The kind of work after which it feels good to sit down, and rest.

Very good work.

Followed by rest.

As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end. Amen.

More Than A Thousand Words

Do you ever feel like this?

Yeah. Me too. 

Are We There Yet?

Transitions can be the worst.

You’re not at the beginning of something, or the end of something. You’re in between.

Transitions are kind of like a road trip with kids. Once they’ve worked their way through whatever you’ve brought to keep them interested as the miles go by, they start to get antsy. That is when they ask the dreaded question. You know the one I mean.

“Are we there yet???” 

And I’m not even talking about big transitions like retiring from a long career, having your first baby, or selling the house you raised your children in and downsizing to a condo. In fact, in some ways, those are easier to manage because you expect them to be hard.

I’m talking about transition days. The day when for no reason you can pinpoint, you feel out of sorts, unfocused, and you just kinda want to go to bed and have it be tomorrow. Why tomorrow? Because at least it’s not today. Tomorrow is the destination, and more than once on a transition day we whine... or at least I do...

“Are we there yet?” 

Like the day after you get home from a vacation. The day where you try and settle back in, get a handle on life, and sort the mail. And for no reason you can pinpoint, you feel out of sorts. It is easy to panic just a little bit, and start to wonder, why do I feel so antsy?

Are we there yet?

Or the day after a fabulous party that you’ve been planning for months. The next morning, everyone is gone, and the house just feels so...empty. Your focal point is gone, and there isn’t a new one in sight. And for no reason you can pinpoint, you feel completely unfocused. It’s easy to panic just a little bit, and start to wonder, why do I feel so antsy?                                             

Are we there yet? 

Or the day  you move  from one place to another on a vacation, which means that you have to figure out where each of you will put your suitcase, who gets what shelf in the bathroom, what side of the bed will you sleep on, and what will the first day in the new city will look like. And for no reason you can pinpoint, you just kinda want to go home and sleep in your own bed. It’s easy to panic a little bit, and start to wonder, why do I feel so antsy?                                   

Are we there yet?

In case you haven’t guessed, I am writing this on a transition day. I’m in that in-between space, and trying to find my gracious, good company bearings, but so far, I haven’t been able to lay my hands on them, and I’m getting a little antsy.

Are we there yet?

Writing always seems to be a good way to calm the ants in my pants, and so I decided to write about what transition days feel like to me in case anyone else might relate. Also, the time it takes to write this is getting me a little further down the road to tomorrow. 

Music To Our Ears

“Don’t die with your music still inside you.”  ~ Wayne Dyer

Hiking in the forest up above a Bavarian village, I had the sense that at any moment Julie Andrews would burst upon the scene, singing her heart out. When it came to singing, she just couldn’t seem to help herself. She made music wherever she went.

Even though we never caught a glimpse of Fraulein Maria on our hike, the hills were alive with the sound of music, coming from the bells around the necks of the cows grazing all around us. The cows just couldn’t seem to help themselves. They made music wherever they went.

I think we are meant, like Maria, and like the Bavarian cows, to make our music wherever we go.

 Our music is just another word for our life.

The one we are meant to live.

The authentic one.

The wholehearted one.

When the music is ours, it isn’t a performance.

It is an offering.

When we find our music inside of us, we just can’t seem to help ourselves. We make it wherever we go.

Finding The Other Side Of The Bed

 “If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

To put it anything but mildly, I woke up this morning, our last day in Germany, on the wrong side of the bed. Or to be more precise, on the wrong side of the couch. I taken to sleeping there because it had a firmer mattress. Unable to find a comfortable position, I’d spent the night tossing and turning, just awake enough to know that I most certainly was not asleep. Checking out of our room later today, it was time to pick out an outfit for our flight to Copenhagen. But I couldn’t find anything in the depths of my suitcase, filled as it was with all things black and Banana Republic, and, I could hardly stomach the idea of another breakfast in the hotel dining room. 

On top of all of that, there was this:

Tom had slept well, hardly moving in the bed with a mattress that works just fine for him. He had slept soundly enough for me to know that he most certainly was not awake. I knew this of course, because I was. His outfit for the flight to Copenhagen was already neatly laid out, and he couldn’t wait to enjoy our final breakfast downstairs in the dining room. 

All I wanted to do was stay in the middle of my little First World problem misery, feel sorry for myself, and find fault wherever I looked. Which in this case specifically meant my husband. How dare he wake up on the right side of the bed? 

Then I remembered Theodore Roosevelt’s words: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

While not ready to be robbed of the company of my own misery, I knew Teddy was right. 

Grasping for any straw within reach, I headed for the shower. Five minutes under the hot steamy water, and the ice around my heart began to melt. I spent a little time sprucing up with make-up, and looking in the mirror, I caught a glimpse of the girl I like to be. Pawing through my suitcase, I found my favorite traveling outfit, which wasn’t so hard to find after all. I’d merely needed to take the beam out of my own eye.

Just as we were about to head down to breakfast, Tom came over and gave me a dose of something we’d learned from a therapist years ago. It’s called “hugging till relaxed”, and is just like it sounds. He put his arms around me, and just hugged. And hugged. And hugged. And hugged some more. And he didn’t let go until he felt me relax back into myself. 

Maybe the way to the other side of the bed isn’t that hard. Clean up your act. Find the person in the mirror you like to be. Dress in your favorite traveling clothes. And allow love to hug the self-pity stuffing right out of you. 

Heads AND Tails

 “Always remember, your focus determines your reality.” ~ George Lucas

Yesterday we headed out to Zugspitze, the highest mountain in Germany. From the top we would be able to see mountains in four countries: Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and Italy. The day got off to a rocky start, as Tom was laser focused on the details of getting us from here to there, while I was all about the experience between here and there. He wanted to make sure we got where we were going. I wanted to make sure we got the most out of getting there. 

That happens to us a lot. 

The best example of that yesterday happened smack dab in the middle of the Munich Hauptbanhof (train station). Purchasing our tickets was a lot like standing in line at the DMV. We arrived, took a number, and waited. While we waited, I studied the people. Tom studied the map.

That happens to us a lot. 

Finally, tickets in hand, with about 12 minutes to spare, we headed for track number 29. Tom dashed ahead, laser focused on getting us from here to there, I was a few steps behind, taking in what was going on between here and there. Just in time, I grabbed him by the shirttails. “Look at that!” I said, pointing straight in front of me.  “Look at what?” Tom said, staring blankly toward where my arm was pointing. “That! Right there!” I said. “What?! Where?!” he said. “That!” I said. “Oh!”, he said.

That happens to us a lot. “

One more step and he would have walked right into the middle of a marriage proposal. Literally. A determined looking young man, down on one knee, ring box in hand, looking hopefully at a delighted looking young woman, hand over her mouth, in tears. Sometimes love looks the same in any language.  

Tom would have missed it if I hadn’t stopped him. We would have missed our train if he hadn’t stopped to figure out where we were going.

That happens to us a lot  

We are two sides of the same coin. 

Heads? We make it from here to there.

Tails? We make the most out of getting there.

It takes both sides of the coin to cash in on life. 

Dachau

Memorial at Dachau

 “To forget a Holocaust is to kill twice.” Elie Wiesel

The “bunker” at Dachau, next to the wall separating the camp from the town. 

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke

Barbed wire fence at Dachau

The Roman Catholic Memorial at Dachau

“He was despised and rejected--a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.” Isaiah 53:3

Reconstructed bunks at Dachau

“Help one another. It is the only way to survive.”  Elie Wiesel

“Nie wieder“

“Never again”

Some Things Never Change

Visiting Nymphenburg Palace in Munich, we came upon this interesting historic tidbit...

The following statement was noted in his diary by Karl VII, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, on the occasion of his coronation in 1742:

“All are agreed that no coronation was ever more glittering and more marvelous than mine.”   

HIstory can repeat itself. But only if we let it.