Word Of The Day: TRUSTING

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.

TRUSTING

An adjective that describes one who has a belief in the honesty and sincerity of others, and in the underlying goodness of the world. Trusting is how we arrive on the planet, confident that we will be seen, loved and cared for. But somewhere along the way, through our encounters with disappointment, heartache, loss, and sometimes overt trauma, our trust can give way to wariness and fear, suspicion and cynicism. Not the way I want to live.

To be trusting is a commitment to both curiosity and caution. Curiosity leads to the discovery of new insights and information, helping us make more enlightened and knowledgable choices. Caution implies a willingness to be attentive and alert to the reality around us, leading to better decisions and more meaningful actions.

To be trusting is to look beyond the immediacy of life and put it into the context of the bigger picture. It is to remember that we have internal and external resources upon which to call to meet what life brings our way.

To be trusting is not the same as being naive, which is blind faith without thought. Rather it is a commitment to live with eyes wide open, embrace what is true, and bring the best of what we have to the life that is ours, and trusting that it will be enough.

Photo: Pexels

Photo: Pexels

Word Of The Day: ENERGIZED 2.0

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of the month. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.

ENERGIZED

Being energized and being exhausted are not necessarily mutually exclusive experiences.

Sometimes the things that energize us the most are the most exhausting. At least in the short term. These are the things that take everything we have to give, and which, once given a chance to refuel, we will show up and do them again.

We are willing to exhaust ourselves doing something we passionately care about, love doing no matter how hard, or that fills us with so much joy that we can’t help but lay it all on the line.

Photo by Juliano Ferreira from Pexels

Photo by Juliano Ferreira from Pexels

Word Of The Day: ENERGIZED

Over the next few weeks I will be focusing on a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of the month. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.

ENERGIZED

When I sat down to write about this word, I didn’t expect to be writing about a rabbit, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the Energizer Bunny. That cool, pink, sunglass sporting, flipflop wearing, drum beating hare is, “…According to the 2017 Madison Avenue Hall of Fame Poll, the most iconic mascot…" around. Who knew? On further thought however, it makes total sense. That smiling pink bunny just keeps going, and going, and going, no matter what. It seems to have a consistent source of energy for whatever life brings. Who wouldn’t want that?

While the bunny may run on batteries, I do not.

I need physical energy to fuel this body, the only one I have. Giving it what it needs is the least I can do to repay it all the ways in which it has loved and supported me through the last 66 years. To keep up my mojo means, at the very least, making it a priority to feed and water it well, move it often, and give it a rest for at least 7, and hopefully 8 hours a night.

I need emotional energy to live with an open heart. A heart that fuels me to love fearlessly, engage with others authentically, and encounter the truth in myself and the world around me with courage and compassion. To keep my emotional tank topped off means cultivating relationships that are life-giving, reading the work of writers that invite me over the threshold of my current emotional maturity, and a dogged determination to keep doing the inner work necessary to live into my true and best self.

I need mental energy to stay present and sharp with every passing year. If I’m to live a life of purpose and meaning to the end, the only viable choice is to continue to stretch and challenge my brain even when it tires me out. it. Especially when it tires me out, as that means I am moving into new territory just waiting to be explored. Stoking my intellectual fires comes through paying attention to what sparks my curiosity, plugging into learning communities, and finding and connecting with others who are up for the same challenge.

And.

I need spiritual energy to stay connected to my core beliefs, of which there are three. We are all created in the image of that which created us. We are all called to live authentic, wholehearted lives. We are all called to love, help, and heal the world that is within our reach. If that doesn’t require spiritual energy, I don’t know what does. Spiritual fuel comes from gathering with my faith community, steeping in spiritual wisdom wherever I find it, and daily spiritual practices that remind me that it isn’t all about me.

In order to keep going, and going, and going, means knowing, and doing, what it takes to power the life we have.

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Word Of The Day: ALIVE 2.0

ALIVE

While alive can mean simply not being dead, when it comes to crafting a meaningful life, that’s not saying much. Lungs can continue to fill and hearts can go on beating long after a soul has moved on to wherever souls move on. In the same way, we can continue existing on the planet without truly being alive.

To be alive is to be alert to the all that life brings our way. It isn’t always easy or comfortable, but then I don’t think it is meant to be. To be alive is to actively engage with the truth, no matter how painful, scary, or inconvenient. We can even feel at our most alive when we have survived a challenge we weren’t sure we could manage—like crossing the finish line of a marathon, after a last chemo treatment, holding our newborn after hours of labor, or finally confronting our hidden fears and wounds for the first time.

To be alive is to be aware. It is to be interested in the world around us, and to continue to expand and grow even as our bodies diminish. To be alive means to follow the breadcrumb trail of our curiosity over the next rise in the trail, and the next and the next and the next. To be alive is to never cease exploring, wondering, and searching.

To be alive is to be teeming with whatever it is that enlivens us to the point that we can’t contain it. It is to be filled to overflowing with the certainty that our lives matter, despite any evidence to the contrary. So certain that we can’t help but show up for our life and say yes to its invitation. Over, and over, and over, until it’s all over.

(If you are just joining me now on the trail that is 2020, and the list of words that will travel with me to inspire and inform my steps, you can check out earlier posts on this topic below.)

Word of the Day: ALIVE

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Only Two Days In

Last year felt like it lived me instead of the other way around. Like the year grabbed me by the hand, took off at full tilt, and never let go. On the doorstep of 2020 I had one recurring thought.

I don’t want the year to get away from me.

I found myself saying it over and over again.

I don’t want the year to get away from me.

I don’t want the year to get away from me.

Did I mention that I don’t want the year to get away from me?

In preparation for the year two-thousand and twenty, I’ve spent a bit of time mulling over how to develop a rhythm that, like our breath and our beating hearts, makes time and space for inhaling and exhaling, for emptying out and filling up. I’ve reminded myself of what and who matter, starting close in and moving out from there. I’ve recommitted myself to the habits and practices necessary to live fully engaged in the year ahead so that I am better able to generously offer what I can, and graciously bow out of what I can’t.

Only two days into the new year, I can already see how easily we fall into familiar habit patterns and ways of responding to what life brings our way. With only two days under my belt, I can see how the year can grab us by the hand, take off at full tilt, and before we know it, year end fireworks are going off and the ball is about to drop in Time Square.

Let’s not let that happen.

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Words To Hang Our 2020 Hats On

Yesterday as I wrote about 2020, my first thought was to come up with ONE word for the year. One word that would capture my vision, hopes, and thoughts for the year ahead. One word that would help me make choices in line with the person I want to be, and the difference I hope to make.

That’s a tall order for a single word.

The more I tried to come up with one word, and one word only, the more restrictive it felt, kind of like when you can’t catch your breath. That is when the idea of a collection of words took hold, and as the list of words appeared on the page I began to breathe a little easier.

As I look at the word cloud created from my list, and now displayed nearby for quick reference, it is clear that I will need every one of them. I already know that there will be days when I won’t be able to muster a speck of fierce if my life depended on it, and on those days will be grateful that grace is there at the ready. Some days I will embody those words, and on others only aspire to them. Keeping them close at hand might just help me embody more and aspire less.

We human beings are complex creatures, and the lives we live are equally complex. Every day we make choices that, when cobbled together, create the life we have, and it is hard to imagine summing up a life in a single word.

Going Deeper

If you want to take a deeper dive into today’s post…

Find a bit of time and space to create your own collection of words on which to hang your 2020 hat.

Create your own word cloud. (I used Word Clouds (simple, free, fun).

Hang it nearby, refer to it often, and see what happens.

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Putting It Into Words

It feels good for 2019 to be in the rearview mirror. At least it does to me, and so it seems, to most of the people I know. Yes, there were many moments of joy, causes for celebration, and plenty of love and grace to go around, but there was just something about last year that called upon us to dig deeper than we sometimes thought we could.

It was a year that left us ready to begin again.

There is no doubt that this new year will once again call upon us to dig deep, to endure, and to show up, again, and again, and again. Rather than a list of things to do better, I find myself searching for the words with which to travel through this year.

Words that will serve as touchstones for my choices big and small, day in and day out.

Words that describe who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world.

Words like this…

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Is This The ______________ That I Want?


Tom and I had been married about eight years when he spent a couple of weeks teaching at a remote retreat center in the North Cascades, while I stayed home minding the fort. During those two weeks it became clear to me that there was no question that I wanted to be married to Tom. However, that wasn’t the real question. The real question was—Is the marriage we have the one that I want?

It wasn’t.

Those aren’t thoughts one can keep to oneself if one wants things to change.

After he returned we were out running errands one day, and stopped at a Starbucks. I can still see the table where we were sitting out on the sidewalk. I’m sure he was expecting just a nice catch-up visit, so when I quietly told him I wanted to talk about our marriage, a deer in the headlights about sums up his initial reaction. Thankfully, unlike a deer he didn’t disappear into the woods, but leaned forward, and leaned in. That conversation, over lattes, on a sidewalk outside of Starbucks is the conversation that changed the trajectory of our marriage.

Together we began to give voice to what was working, and what was not. We needed plenty of help along the way from therapists who could help us navigate all of the issues that could derail us if we let them. After 25 years together, we still hit brick walls and have to talk about scary things. On any given day, we work hard to bring the best of what we have to each other, with varying degrees of success, but always with the commitment of building the kind of relationship and life we want. Our conversation over coffee that started all those years ago is one that we will probably be having for the rest of our lives. At least it should be if we want to keep building the marriage we want.

The changes in our marriage all started with a hard question, as most hard changes do, and, it is a hard question that can help any of us get to the heart of any matter that matters to us.

Is this the…relationship, parenting approach, community, fitness level, body, friendship, career path, communication pattern, story emotional health, financial reality, team culture, family dynamic, belief system, outcome, home-life, fill-in-your-own-blank…that I want?

If the answer is yes, then we keep on keeping on.

If the answer is no, maybe today is the day to figure out what it is we do want and how to go about getting it.

Photo by James Wheeler from Pexels

Photo by James Wheeler from Pexels





Self-Imposed

How do we determine what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, and when it must be done?

It’s true that we all make commitments that we need to follow through on like it or not, and, there are deadlines that are unmovable and non-negotiable.

But.

What about those deadlines we create for ourselves even though no one else is waiting for us to hold fast to our self-imposed timing? Or the self-inflicted expectations that others don’t care about, or for that matter, even know about? What about them?

Do we really have to get our holiday cards in the mail before Christmas? Or even send any this year?

Is anyone else actually expecting us to make the perfect holiday dinner that we’ve always had,? And if they are, maybe that’s not on us.

Do we actually need to get “just one more gift” for ___________?

Is it imperative that we take on that home-improvement project in January?

Is it critical that we take on three new clients right now?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating being a flake, or neglecting to practice good planning, goal setting, and time stewardship practices. Nor am I suggesting that there aren’t important ways in which we want to diligently spend our time and energy. What I am pondering, and maybe you would like to ponder along with me, is the cost to us and those around us when we cling to our notions of what needs to be done, exactly how it must be done, and when it has to be completed?

Photo by Frans Van Heerden from Pexels

Photo by Frans Van Heerden from Pexels