Too Good Not To Share

re-spon-si-ble

having an obligation to do something, or care for someone, as part of one's job or role

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Especially during COVID, staying connected matters more than ever. Thanks to technology we can still meet, gather, collaborate, celebrate, learn, remember, worship, and share a meal or bottle of wine together. We can work with a therapist, doctor, coach, personal trainer, or spiritual director, all from the comfort of our home office, closet, car, or tree fort.

As good as all that connecting is, sometimes it’s just too much.

Our devices ring and ding and vibrate, alerting us that someone somewhere is reaching our way, and we, or at least I, feel responsible to answer right there and then. It’s as if not picking up the phone, responding to the text, joining the video call, or answering the email immediately communicates that I don’t care. That that person isn’t a priority, and as someone who values connection and relationships above all else, I never want to convey that. Ever. And yet I have this fear that I do.

This was the quandary I brought to a monthly video conversation with my spiritual director. One of his many gifts is his practice of parsing words. He will take a word apart, maybe switch a letter of two, all in the service of looking at it in a new and more helpful way. In this case, rather than feel responsible to answer the phone or respond to the text, decide if, in that moment, I am response-able to do so.

Do I have the emotional capacity, at the time, to respond with the best of myself? Is my tank, at the time, empty, full, or somewhere in between? Do I have what it takes, at the time, to be fully present? In that moment, am I responsible or response-able to answer? It isn’t about not responding. It’s about responding well.

Some things are simply too good not to share.

(Once again, a grateful shout out to Dane Anthony.)

Photo by Wendy Wei from Pexels

When To Put It Off

There are days to do certain things, and days not to. 

Today is a do-not sort of day when it comes to resolving a current issue on my iMac. Not that I haven’t tried, but on the phone in conversation, yet again, with Apple Support, I could feel my skin start to itch and my face getting hot. It wasn’t that the person on the other end of the phone wasn’t trying to provide good service. They were. It was just that everything they asked me to try either didn’t work, I didn’t understand how to do what they were asking, or, because of our less than speedy internet service, the file they requested wouldn’t download, upload, reload or whatever-the-hell-load. 

While I have a decent number of gifts and areas of competency and expertise, technological anything is not, as they say, in my wheelhouse. Give me a relationship issue, an interpersonal communication breakdown, a roadblock to finding your true and most authentic self, or spotting wildlife, and I’m your girl. Have an issue involving technical anything, and you might as well be talking to a stump. A very frustrated stump.

The longer I stayed on the phone today, the shorter my fuse became. Due to the fact that Apple needs some real-time data in order to resolve this issue, that data needs to be collected and uploaded for their engineering team to get to the root of the problem. Due to the fact that the beautiful little valley where we live doesn’t provide us with access to the powerful internet service necessary to get them what they need, a root canal is starting to sound easier to handle. And so, I’m not going to try to handle it any more. At least not today. Tomorrow, after a good night of sleep and a workout at the gym, I’ll probably be ready to give it another go.

Timing can be everything, and attempting to do something at the wrong time rarely turns out right. Whether it be having a courageous conversation, updating a resume, creating a budget, starting therapy, seeking forgiveness, developing a new habit, ending a relationship, or resolving a frickin technical issue, doing it when we have the right mindset and emotional capacity to take it on can make all the difference.

Or…..

As my new rendition of the old saying goes…

Always put off till tomorrow what shouldn’t be done today. 

Photo by picjumbo.com from Pexels

Sacred Texts

There’s a lot of talk about how much technology is getting in the way of real human-to-human connection, and In some cases, I couldn’t agree more. Text instead of talk, email instead of engage, emojis instead of actual emotions.

Technology greases the skids to taking the easy way out, and can be a way to hide behind the screen and avoid having the real conversation. You know the one. The one that’s asking you to have it. My own personal rule when considering sending a text or email to communicate something important, controversial, risky, or vulnerable is the following: Am I willing to look the person in the eye, or pick up the phone, and say exactly what I am about to say in this email or text? If the answer is “No.”, then I shouldn’t push that tempting little ‘send’ button. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t a conversation worth having. It probably means it’s important enough to actually have it.

All that being said, technology can foster human connection in ways never before possible. In my world there are text streams that go on between all manner of family members and friends, and that have in fact become sacred, safe spaces to share the real stuff of life. Sometimes hilarious and at other times raw and real, with the push of a button physical distance evaporates, human connection materializing in its place.

There are times when all we have the time or emotional capital for is a text, and that little ding signaling the arrival of a new message becomes a lifeline that says someone out there cares.

Some sacred texts are written on ancient scrolls.

Others with new fangled technology.