We all have old stories and toxic messages that keep circling around, appearing on our landscapes yet again. When they do, we have the choice of grabbing hold or taking a step back. In grasping a familiar message, we deepen our connection to the past, and continue to carry it with us into the future. In stepping back, we have the opportunity to evaluate its relevance in the present, and decide whether it is worth the weight it adds to our load. Each time our stuff takes another lap around our block, we have the choice is to latch on or let go.
There’s Still Time
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” - Gandalf
(The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien )
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I woke up yesterday morning with these words ringing in my ears...
There’s still time.
As there are only four more days left in 2018, it seemed to be a reminder not to squander those four sacred days. Days that I will never get back. At this point in the year it can be easy to simply coast until the calendar turns over to a new year, thinking “I’ll get to fill-in-the-blank next year.”. I’m not advocating taking on a huge project, or missing out on quiet, leisurely days with friends and family.
But.
I am suggesting that for me, and perhaps for others, there are things to be tended to now rather than later.
- A conversation to have.
- A change of mindset.
- Letting go of an old story so as to begin the new year with a better one.
- Forgiveness to be extended or received.
- A commitment to be made.
- A decision to be finalized.
- Hatchets to bury.
- A wound ready to heal into a scar.
- A stake to put in the ground about the work you want to offer in the year ahead.
- Grace to be offered.
- A question to consider.
- Baggage to leave behind.
- ?
There’s still time.
Old Dogs And New Tricks
“When the student is ready the teacher will appear.”
(Often attributed to The Buddha)
Gracie, our 12 week old chocolate labradoodle is turning out to be a great little teacher, and as it turns out, what works for dogs, can work for humans as well.
“What you pet, you get.”
I learned this concept from my daughter, whose two GSP/Labs are in training. So, on the one paw, if you want calm, happy behavior, you reward it when you see it. On the other paw, if your pup is whining and jumping, unless you want more of that behavior, don’t pat it on the head. Turn your back and simply ignore it. Over time, they will learn to let go of what is ignored, and hang on to what brings the reward.
Our brain often behaves like an unruly little puppy. Our anxious thoughts, old stories, and toxic self-talk show up, nipping at our heels, but rather than turn our backs on them, we often reward them with our attention. Racing around our brains, they proceed to chew up all of the energy we could be using to take positive steps, leaving us weary, discouraged, and stuck. The brain will always gravitate to what is familiar, and the more we focus on those negative messages, the more they sink their teeth into our psyche.
What if we trained our brain the way we train a puppy?
The next time one of those old stories shows up, what if we turned our back on it? Pretended it was a canine looking to us for guidance, ignored that toxic thought, and rewarded ourselves by offering a new story. One that would free us from our self-imposed kennel. Over time, we might learn to let go of what is ignored, and hang on to what brings the reward.
Whoever said an old dog can’t learn new tricks?
