Like A Begonia

My sister is the gardener, not me. Whether planting a pot, planter, raised bed, or perimeter border, she has a vision to cultivate a beautiful space and create a sanctuary where living things can flourish together.

Not long ago she found a begonia at The Home Depot. It was in a small pot, priced to sell, and clearly on its way out. That sad little begonia in the small plastic pot filled with dried out and depleted soil was probably doomed for the dumpster, had someone, like say, my sister, not spotted it and taken it home.

She planted it in a large pot that sits by the back door, along with a variegated fuchsia, a fern, and some coleus. It had room to grow, good soil, fresh air, sunlight, water, the company of other plants, and a gardener determined to help it thrive. And it did.

The world right now feels much like that last chance rack at The Home Depot. If you are anything like me, it often feels like the pot in which I am planted is too small, the soil dried out and depleted. Looking around, in many ways, it is a sad state of affairs.

And yet.

I can’t help but believe that we are a lot like that little begonia. Individually and collectively we are meant to thrive.

We are the plant, and, we are the gardener.

It starts with our own garden and grows out from there.

Let’s be gardeners determined to help one another thrive.

A Mother's Day

Nobody tells you how hard it is going to be. That a mother’s day requires everything you have to give, and a lot of what you don’t. That the needs of others can drown out your own, and that in watching out for your children, you can easily lose sight of yourself

Don’t do that.

One of the most important gifts we can give to our children, no matter what stage in life, is a mom who loves and cares for herself. A tall order no matter how you cut it. At the beginning, learning to care for ourselves feels like a radical act, kind of like staging our own revolution. But no meaningful change throughout history has happened without a lot of rabble-rousers tiring of the status quo. To change the course of our own histories is no different. We have to become rebels for our own cause, knowing that it will ruffle a lot of feathers, including our own. Meeting our own needs often collides with those of others, and it is uncomfortable for everyone as we begin to care for ourselves in new ways.

Sometimes all we can eke out is a dropper full of self-care. Ten quiet minutes alone, a walk around the block, a hot shower, or heating up leftovers, again. Managing a whole pitcher of care can be hard to come by, but to live with our glass half full means refilling it whenever and however we can. Being able to step back and catch our breath will mean that someone else will have to step up. Let them.

Self-care means discovering what we need in order to show up for what life requires. It is about equipping ourselves well so that we are well equipped for the life we have, including loving and caring for our children.

It’s not about being self-centered.

It’s about living from a centered self.

Clean Up

Sometimes we make it way too complicated.

At our grandboy’s pre-school when it’s time to clean up, the teachers sing the Cleanup Song, and everybody works together to tidy up the room. To put it back in order, ready for what comes next, and who comes next. 

Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere. 

Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share. 

Put ‘em away. 

Put ‘em away. 

Put your toys away. 

Imagine if we just did that.

Imagine if we all just cleaned up after ourselves and one another. 

Imagine if we all just did our share, everybody, everywhere.

Imagine if we all just put our world back in order, ready for what comes next and who comes next. 

Imagine. 

When It Comes Right Down To It

Today I dropped Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle off at NWBDogs for a week while we are out of town. This is the third time we have boarded her there, and while it gave me great peace of mind to leave her in such capable hands, she was beside herself with excitement. She was a quivering puddle of anticipation, and would have launched herself out the window if it had been open an inch or two more. Gracie is one smart girl. In her short little life she has already figured out that when it comes right down to it, it is all about relationships. Her time there in the past has been everything a pup could wish for. She know’s what to expect, and has learned that when she is there she will be consistently treated with respect, care, and concern for her wellbeing. She trusts that she will be well cared for, and so do we. I wouldn’t think of trusting her to anyone else.

Today I dropped my car off at Hosley Eco Auto, the shop we have been taking our cars to for over 30 years. While I may not quiver with excitement at the thought of dropping a few bucks on my car, it gave me great peace of mind to leave my car in such capable hands. Like Gracie, we long ago figured out that when it comes right down to it, it is all about relationships. Our experiences in the past have been everything a car owner could wish for. We know what to expect, and have learned that we will consistently be treated with respect, care, and concern, as will our cars. We wouldn’t think of trusting them to anyone else.

Today was a reminder that relationships are built or broken by the ways in which we treat one another, the consistency with which we show up, and every interaction matters. Take it from Gracie. When it comes right down to it, it is all about relationships.