Sunday School

God saw everything that God had made, and indeed, it was very good.

Genesis 1:31 

In the biblical story, the world was created a day at a time, each day bringing more and more of the world into being. At the end of the day, the great Creator looked out over that which had been made and saw that it was good.

On the sixth day, in which all living creatures that dwell on the earth were brought forth, God went one step further and created humankind in God’s own image, giving to us stewardship of all that had been created. At the end of that day, the great Creator didn’t simply call what had been made good…but very good.

On the seventh day, there was no more to do. The Creator’s work was finished and that day was declared a day of rest. A holy day of rest.

Made in the image of the Creator, when we choose to live as a reflection of that from which we came, to be good stewards of all that has been entrusted to us, at the end of the day we  will be able to look out over what we have done, and see that it is good.

Every now and then, we can even see that is very good.

And when we’ve given all we have to that which is ours to do, we can take time to rest, knowing that to rest is  holy.

Amen.

Let it be so.

The Game Plan

Every year we have an annual family gathering at our home at the base of Mt. Adams. Known affectionately as Rodeo Weekend, it takes place over the Father’s Day weekend, and is anchored by the Glenwood Ketchum Kaff Rodeo. On the professional rodeo circuit, this event is a big deal for our little town, as is this big yearly get-together for our not-so-little family. From the babies to the elders, for three days we all come together and navigate the dynamics du jour including sleeping arrangements, nap schedules, food and drink, KP duty, conversations, relationship patterns, political and personality differences, and deeply shared values and convictions. It is our favorite weekend of the year, we wouldn’t miss it, it just keeps getting better, and, as happens in families, such times have the potential to bring out the best, and of course, the not-so-best in any of us.

Cue the Game Plan.

In professional football, to prepare for each new game a specific plan is created. This game plan serves to leverage strengths, mitigate for known liabilities, protect against injury, and achieve a successful outcome. Along with the right strategies, a good game plan includes ongoing communication, clarification, and adjustment, and when all is said and done, the team comes out stronger, wiser, and more connected. Family gatherings are no different.

Cue the Game Plan.

We all come together carrying with us our strengths and weaknesses, and uniformed in our endearing qualities and irritating quirks. Old dynamics find new circumstances in which to play out, and there is unlimited potential for the deepening or damaging of relationships.

Cue the Game Plan.

This year, along with three new babies and another year full of individual and shared triumphs, trials, and tragedies, into the mix comes Gracie-the-chocolate-labraodoodle. Tom and I only mildly jokingly refer to her as our Therapy Dog because she continues to shine a light on the areas of our relationship that still need tweaking. In order to come out the other side of Rodeo Weekend even more in love than we are now, will require that we up our game even more when it comes to how to handle Gracie in the midst of the wonderful family mayhem. Her challenge is to find her inner-calm when around people and other dogs, but left to her own devices she will whip herself up into a happy-but-hot mess every time. Not a successful outcome. When it comes to helping her in that arena, we don’t always see it quite the same way.

Cue the Game Plan.

We haven’t come up with it yet, but it is in the works, and will mean coming up with a strategy that we agree on in both principle and practice. Easy to say ahead of time, hard to do in real time. Our game plan will serve to leverage our strengths, mitigate for our liabilities, protect our relationship from injury, and achieve a successful outcome. It will take ongoing communication, clarification, and adjustments along the way, and if we play it right, when all is said and done, because of a good game plan, we will come out stronger, wiser, and more connected.

When preparing for a football game or a family gathering, ending up with a successful outcome begins with a good game plan.

Rodeo Weekend 2019?

Game on!

Pencil It In

Life is best written in pencil. When we are too quick to ink in our days we become attached to our plans rather than open to possibilities, and focused on completing projects rather than connecting with people.

Life as rough draft, not finished manuscript, because the story is always unfolding.

At The End Of It All

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

C.S. Lewis

At the end of the day, at the end of it all, I want to be able to say that I knew love, that I had the courage to be vulnerable.

With gratitude to Kyle for sharing this quote.

The Pause

Last week someone left too soon, and another lingered too long. Both are gone now, and regardless of the timing, death has a way of giving one pause. Of inviting us to linger at the edge between death and life and be transformed by what we find there. Of encouraging us to begin to live ever more fully even as we move surely toward our own ending. There is no good, perfect, or right time for a life to end, but when it has, we who remain are offered another chance to consider what to do with the time we have.

Walk This Way

When Tom and I first got married we started walking in the early morning. At first it was a slow stroll with umbrellas when it rained, but it wasn’t long before we ditched the umbrellas and speeded up our pace. Side-by-side we began to navigate our way to the marriage we have today. It was on those walks that we started learning who we were and who we wanted to become, where we’d been and where we wanted to go. We laughed, cried, argued, made-up, and sometimes we just talked, but step by step we learned how to live in step with ourselves and one another. A lot can happen on a walk. 

A walk is a powerful practice that can be implemented almost anywhere at almost anytime and for almost any purpose.  

A Walk In The Valley 

When my one and only sister and I found ourselves at odds and unable to connect, we found our way back to one another by walking in the valley below her home. There were hard truths to be named, questions to be answered, forgiveness to be sought and extended, and because of our Walk In The Valley, we’ve never lost each other again. A lot can happen on a walk.

Take A Walk With The Captain 

One of my dear friends is a retired US Navy captain, and in her years as a powerful and influential leader, she instigated a practice she called Take A Walk With The Captain. It was an open invitation for anyone on her team to sign up for a 20 minute walk with her. No agenda other than the one created by the person walking by her side. On those walks trust was gained, stories were shared, and questions were answered. A lot can happen on a walk. 

Walk The Problem 

An organization I worked with encouraged employees to Walk The Problem. Rather than try to resolve the conflict, have the hard conversation, or clear up a misunderstanding in an office behind closed doors, people took the problem outside and onto the track that surrounded the building. Walking together had a way of clearing the air and leaving whatever it was in the dust. A lot can happen on a walk.

After 25 years together we value our walks more than ever. The exercise is great, but even better is the development of the practice of squaring our shoulders in the same direction, and stepping out together.

A lot can happen on a walk.

Earth School

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. 

Albert Einstein 

Today on a hike through a lush and fertile forest on the coast of Washington, I remembered a few things best not forgotten.

Everything and everyone are connected.

While we often live as if we are separate from one another, in the end, whether we flourish or perish, we will do so together. 

Life springs from death. 

When we are gone, what we have left behind will be the ground from which new life takes root. 

The future will always be uncertain.

While we can’t see into the future, walking the path that is ours is the only way to create the one we envision. 

Nothing informs better than a walk on the wild side.

Real Life

It’s been in the works for awhile now. It all started with a phone call from a friend. We have a monthly video call where three of us connect to check in, go deep, and help one another become more of who we are called to be. He had booked a house on a beach overlooking the water for another gathering, but had the house for a full week, and wondered what it might be like to join him there, and for good measure, to bring our partners as well. Instantly we were all in. The dates went on our calendars, funds were contributed, and we all agreed to bring plenty of good food, good wine, and something meaningful to share with each other. 

On our last phone call we talked about what we wanted the time to look like.

Did we have an agenda?

Were there topics to be covered?

Well. Yes and no.

The agenda? To show up as ourselves.

The topics to be covered? Whatever felt real, relevant, and revelatory.

It’s as simple as that and as hard as it gets.  Kind of like life.

The Prong Collar

Until we brought Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle into our home, I thought a prong collar was a cruel device used to torture dogs. That was then. This is now. As it turns out, this scary looking metal collar, when fitted properly and used correctly, is both extremely effective and very humane. 

Our vision for this joyful creature who now shares our home and fills our hearts is to be the happiest four-legged, curly-haired girl she can be, to know how to keep herself out of harms way, and to ultimately have the maximum amount of freedom possible. Such freedom has to be earned, and with the help of her prong collar, she is banking her freedom chips faster than you can say Fetch!

Ii isn’t punishment, it’s information. Do this, not that. 

It’s like a tap on the shoulder, not a slap in the face.  This is okay, that’s not.

It increases self-restraint. Stop now, not later. 

It provides awareness. This is safe, that’s not. 

It builds connection. I’m ok if you’re ok.

To put it simply—the prong collar is nothing more than a useful feedback mechanism that helps Gracie learn what’s okay, and what’s not. Which, come to think about it, is something we human types need too. 

PS: Gracie wanted us to tell you, Never use a prong collar without proper instruction first.  

With gratitude for Matt Luchsinger and the team at NWB Dogs for helping us be better humans for Gracie.

The Parking Space

You know those people who always find a parking space right when and where they need it?? I know. Right?!

I’m one of them.

When we first got married I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Tom always took the first parking spot he found, even if it was in the last space in the last row in the last outskirts of the parking lot. Not that this approach is all bad. It assures us of a spot, gives us a little more exercise, and is usually closer to the exit when it’s time to leave.

However.

It didn’t occur to him that a better spot would show up, and being the easy, laidback guy that I love, he was good with that. I wasn’t. It didn’t occur to me that a better spot wouldn’t show up. Case in point. Last Saturday we had to head in to Hood River to pick up food from the caterer for an event later that day. Weekends in our bustling little tourist mecca start to heat up this time of year, and parking spaces can be hard to come by. Unless you’re me. About a half an hour before it was time to pick up the food, we were sitting in a shady spot having a little lunch and Tom mentioned that it might be virtually impossible to find a parking spot near, much less in front of Boda’s Kitchen on a busy Saturday, especially since they are located in the heart of downtown. He would drop me off and then drive around the block while I ran in to pick things up.

First of all, this would make things challenging as there were going to be multiple large trays to bring out. And second of all, after 25 years together, let’s have a little more faith here.

Heading up the hill we could see Boda’s, and the parking spaces in front were taken. He looked a tiny bit smug.

Oh ye of little faith.

Just as we drove over the cross street before Boda’s, the car smack-dab in front of the entrance pulled out, and just like that, we slid in, I retrieved our order, and in short order, we were on our way.

This kind of thing has happened more times than I can count, and I’m not quite sure what it means, except maybe the faith that we will have what we need when and where we need it.

As we pulled out of the parking space I tried not to act too smug, because we all know what cometh before a fall.