Drinking Our Own Kool-Aid

According to some research, over 80% of our thoughts are negative, and most of those thoughts are on a continuous loop, returning to us again and again. The problem with our negative thoughts and stories is that we believe them, and the more we listen to these habitual stories, the more familiar, and in an odd way, comforting, they can become.

They are our stories, and we are sticking to them.

But.

Do we have to?

Short answer: No.

Longer answer: No, but it’s hard work giving them up.

If you’re like me, you are familiar with the stories that hold you captive, and recognizing them is our first step to letting them go. We need to cut ourselves a little slack if it takes some time to develop new ones, and we might need some professional help along the way. If so, let’s get it. It will be some of the best money we’ve ever spent.

Believing our stories that have been with us for God-knows-how-long is a little like drinking our own Kool-Aid. We don’t stop to consider that there might be better ways to quench our inner thirst.

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Photo by Magda Ehlers from Pexels

Get Moving

“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” ~ Richard Rohr

“You probably aren’t going to be able to think yourself out of this one Molly.”

Good words offered to me by a good friend during a recent conversation as I sat out on my front porch in the waning light in Washington, while he was on the other end of the phone in the waning light of southern California.

It is easy for me to get too involved with my own feelings for my own good, not to mention the good of everyone around me. I try and think my way to the other side of whatever it is, and, there is a time for sitting with our emotions in order to understand what they are telling us. But then it’s time to get moving, whether we feel like it or not, which, for the record, we probably won’t.

I’m not talking about running away from our emotions. They are, as the 13th century Persian poet, Rumi, reminds us in his poem, The Guesthouse, “…sent to us as a guide from beyond”. However, we all know that any guest can overstay their welcome.

Sitting too long has been referred to as the new smoking, and has been linked to all kinds of health risks. The same goes for sinking into the easy chair of our emotions. The longer we sit and think about them, the harder it is to get up.

In both cases, the key to our wellbeing is to get moving.

(With gratitude to DB)

Photo: invisiblepower on pexels.com

Photo: invisiblepower on pexels.com

On The Road Again

The early weeks in a new year are often a time of introspection and reflection as we allow the dust of the previous year to settle, and our vision and roadmap for the new one to begin to emerge.

It is time well spent.

On one condition.

Insight is cheap unless we take action on what we’ve discovered during the days of turning our gaze inward. That deeper understanding of who we are and what we care about is meant to energize our lives out in the world. It doesn’t even matter if we don’t yet have a crystal clear vision for the road ahead. It is time to start taking action, trusting that we’ll gain the clarity we need through the process of moving forward.

Do you remember those toy cars that had an internal mechanism called a pullback motor? The more you pulled the car backwards, the more the energy built up until when you released the car, it shot forward.

We are seven weeks into this new year. It’s time to stop pulling our cars backward, let them go, and hang on for the ride.

(With gratitude to Dane Anthony for reminding me about these tiny cars)

Photo: PRR on pexels.com

Photo: PRR on pexels.com


Test Results

I had some blood drawn the other day at the request of one of my doctors to check in on the levels of a few key hormones. The test results are in and once my doc has had a chance to review them, we will discuss whether we need to make any tweaks int treatment in the name of staying healthy and energized.

Lately I’ve noticed too much fluctuation in mood and outlook to ignore, which has me wondering if there are some key components that have dropped below optimal levels. I know what the vital ingredients are to keep me healthy and engaged with life, and after a quick review of my essential elements, it is clear that a few are in need of tweaking.

When things don’t seem quite right, it’s time to test our levels of that which keeps us at our best.

Photo: Chokniti Khongchum on pixels.com

Photo: Chokniti Khongchum on pixels.com

Milestones

“I’m going to say three words, and I want you to remember them.”

Chair

Lemon

Sunrise

Yesterday I had what is called a Medicare Wellness Exam. We covered all the basics of a normal exam, with the addition of a few new twists now that I am old enough to be a card carrying Medicare recipient. Like remembering those three words, which the PA asked me to recall and repeat several times throughout the visit.

That exam was a milestone event even if no one said so. It was a stark reminder that I’m on the far side of youth, and that my final horizon here on this planet is getting closer every day.

Milestones aren’t reserved for those of us with at least 65 trips around the sun. They belong to the forty-something with their first pair of readers, new parents with someone other than themselves to care for, a high school graduate paying their first month’s rent, a recent retiree with time to spare, or a child wobbling off on a bicycle without the steadying hand of a parent.

We are all heading in the same direction, and there’s no turning back.

Every milestone is a reminder to be all-in, and if we aren’t, then today is the day to start.

(And yes, I still remember them.)

Chair

Lemon

Sunrise

Photo by erdinç ersoy from Pexels

Photo by erdinç ersoy from Pexels

A Buffer

A buffer serves as a shield or defense. It is a protective barrier that prevents contact between things. There are times when we are called to serve as a buffer for others. To protect them from the raging storm that threatens to overwhelm and overtake them.

And.

There are times when, as difficult as it is, we are called to move out of the way and let things collide in order for a reckoning with what is to occur. This is true everywhere. Whether talking about the workplace, financial realities, a family, a friendship, a marriage, an athletic team, or a corner office on the C-Suite, change and transformation can’t occur without rubbing directly up against the truth.

Serving as a buffer is an act of love.

So is stepping aside.

Photo from pexels.com

Photo from pexels.com

AFTERWORD

 We learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. One becomes in some area an athlete of God. ~ Martha Graham

For the past month I’ve been writing about the words that found their way on to my list at the beginning of the year. Each word represents some aspect of who I aspire to be, and of how I intend to show up in the world.

These words? I want to embody these words. I want my life to be a tangible expression of each and every one of them as consistently as is humanly possible. And, it is doubtful that I will ever master each word perfectly, which is but one reason I am grateful that grace was the first word to appear on my list.

Bringing these words to life in the life that is mine is a practice, for if I know anything, it is that what we practice, we become.

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Final Word Of The Day: CULTIVATE

For the past few weeks I have focusedon a word of the day drawn from a list created at the beginning of January. Each word was chosen to serve as a guide to inspire and inform my steps through 2020. If you are just joining me now and want to look in on earlier posts on this topic, you will find links to each at the end.

CULTIVATE

As I write about this, the last word from my list, it seems fitting that today is the exact midway point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. Also known as the Vernal Equinox, the first day of spring ushers in a season of new growth.

Driving home from church today we passed fields that last week were unplowed, but are now tilled and readied for new crops. As it is for farmers, ranchers, and community gardeners, now is the time to set our minds upon that which we want to grow within us.

Whatever it is that wants to take root in our lives, it is time to prepare the soil, plant the seeds, and provide them with what they need to grow and thrive.

Photo by PhotoMIX Ltd. from Pexels

Photo by PhotoMIX Ltd. from Pexels