Put-And-Take

We have what we call a “put-and-take” savings account as a way of having ready cash when we need it. Every month we put money in there in order to be prepared for expenditures ahead, and, every month it seems we take some of the money out for said expenses.

Money in.

Money out.

Money in.

Money out.

You might describe it as a savings account with a revolving door. The funds are continually deposited and withdrawn to save for and pay for the cost of living. It strikes me as a good metaphor for our lives. We spend ourselves in the service of what matters to us, and in order to do that we must also continually fund our inner account. What it means to do that is unique to each of us, and can change wildly depending upon our life chapter. What matters is that we do it as best we can, because whether talking about money or our life, we can’t spend what we don’t have.

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Time's A Wastin'

Ideas are driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest. And the only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner. It is only through a human’s efforts that an idea can be escorted out of the ether and into the realm of the actual.

~ Elizabeth Gilbert: Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

For the past year, or more if I’m being completely honest, several ideas have diligently knocked on my inner doorstep. I’ve tried to ignore them, have pretended no one was at home, and peeked through the shutters to see if they are still there. They are, and I’ve yet to invite them in. If not careful, one day I will check on them only to find that they have moved on, my resolve to finally collaborate with them regretfully too little and too late.

I know the power of an idea that suddenly strikes, and the magic that happens when we accept its invitation. Shit gets done. People’s lives are touched, usually none more than ours, and we have the chance to share our gifts with the world. And yet, acting on an idea when it makes itself known continues to be a growing edge. I’ve learned first hand the energy, courage, and grit required to see an idea through, and the regret that will haunt me if I don’t.

As Joaquin and Reese crooned in Walk The Line, time’s a wastin’, and with only 25 more days left in the year I’ve decided to throw open the door, invite those ideas in, and see what kind of trouble we can get into together. I’ll keep you posted.

Any ideas knocking on your door?

Time’s a wastin’.

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Practicing Love

In his latest book (The Great Spiritual Migration: How The World’s Largest Religion Is Seeking A Better Way To Be Christian), Brian McLaren suggests that we need to learn the practical skills necessary to love well, starting with those closest to us. When those skills are practiced at home they can then be put to use out in the world with others.

His is an extensive list, and to my mind, there isn’t one that isn’t worth the effort. And, because the list is so expansive it might feel a little daunting to you as it does to me, so rather than take it all on at once, pick a few that beckon to you. Or maybe better yet, ask those near and dear to you which ones they would love to see you practice, which btw is practicing skills 7, 17, and 18.

1. Common Courtesies

2. Gratitude

3. Admitting Weaknesses & Failures

4. Self-Reporting Emotions

5. Expressing Hurt & Disappointment

6. Confronting & Forgiving

7. Asking For Help

8. Differing Graciously

9. Surfacing & Negotiating Competing Desires

10. Taking The First Step To Resolve Conflict

11. Upholding Wise Boundaries

12. Saying Yes & No

13. Winning & Losing Graciously

14. Creating Win-Win Outcomes

15. Speaking Truth In Love

16. Speaking Truth To Power

17. Asking Good Questions

18. Requesting Feedback

19. Expressing Affection

20. Opening One’s Heart

21. Giving Gifts

22. Seeking Wise Counsel

What better gift to give to ourselves, and to those we love this holiday season, than to diligently, humbly, and intentionally practice the skills of love. Love is, after all, the gift that keeps on giving.

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A No-Nonsense Thanksgiving

nonsense: words that have no meaning or make no sense

When it comes to describing our Thanksgiving this year, the words that have no meaning or make no sense are words like perfect, elegant, formal, fancy, flawless, tidy, or impressive. No one who will gather around our table has the capacity to pull off any of those words. Collectively we are worn out, adjusting to big changes, loving, raising and growing little humans, moving into new homes, having real conversations about real things, holding one another accountable for and loving each other in spite of ”our stuff”. It simply feels like life is as real as real can get.

When it comes to our Thanksgiving this year, the only words that make any sense are words like messy, simple, casual, imperfect, crazy, loud, emotional, and authentic. Thankfully we are finding ways to make sure that it is well-seasoned with ample amounts of love, grace, and laughter, because if we are hungry for nothing else, we are hungry for those.

I guess you could call it a No-Nonsense Thanksgiving, which might just be the very best kind.

Unloading The Wheelbarrow

It is easy to treat our mind like a mental wheelbarrow. One that we fill to the brim with issues, and our thoughts and feelings about those issues, all of which require precious mental and emotional energy as we carry them with us wherever we go. Rather than taking the time to actually do something about the contents of the wheelbarrow, we just keep wheeling them through our days.

If you’re like me, almost anything is fair game to pile into the cart. On any given day my cart might be piled high with relationship issues, conversations past, present and future, financial concerns, heartaches, challenges to those we love, health issues, politics, global warming, aging skin, unfinished projects, the NFL Playoffs, and the holidays. Just to name a few.

One of the best practices we can develop is to lighten our own mental load. To stop pushing the wheelbarrow, take out one thing, and deal with it. Find out about it. Understand the truth about it, and with that understanding do what we can to take care of it.

To lighten your mental load, what is one thing you can take out of your wheelbarrow?

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Given What We Have

Given the present situation, who do I want to be?

Given the present reality, how can I show up and bring the best of who I am to what is before me?

Given the present options, which one will best reflect the person I am meant to be?

When it comes to dealing well with what life brings our way, it seems to boil down to a few simple questions with answers that are often anything but easy to live out.

Given what we have, what will we choose to do?

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The Road Less Traveled

There is nothing quite as inspiring to me as watching someone choose to take the road less traveled.

The road less traveled is the one that when facing the difficult and painful challenges that life throws in every one of our paths at one time or another, leads them through the difficulty rather than skirting around it.

The road less traveled is the one that while every step may be painful, is the only one that leads to healing and transformation.

The road less traveled is the one that calls upon our courage to keep going in spite of our fear.

Tempting thought it may be to take the well-worn easier route, the road less traveled is always worth the trip.

Always.

Pixabay

Yes Or No?

Sometimes it takes more courage to say no than to say yes.

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Life Decisions

Some days I listen in to The Next Right Thing Podcast with Emily P. Freeman. She introduces it the same way every Tuesday by reminding her listeners that while it is a podcast about making decisions, it is also a podcast about making a life.

Those few words inspire me every time, and are a reminder that the decisions we make create the life we have.

Setting A Time Limit

There are many things I’ve learned from my good friend Mark Christensen, the mastermind behind and founder of the Learning Point Group, a full-service consulting firm that focuses on leadership and supervisory development, as well as workforce learning.

One of the simplest and most useful things I’ve learned from Mark is the practice of setting a time limit on something that needs to be done. Over our years together there have been times when we’ve had to complete a project, solve a problem or come to a decision. In those situations he would often say something to the effect of, “We’ve got twenty minutes to think this through and come to a decision.” Or, “We can commit the next four hours to this, and then we’ll need to move on.” It wasn’t an effort to cut corners, but rather an understanding of the value of time, and a belief in our ability to accomplish something good in the time allotted.

It is easy to let something take more time than it needs to. Or to put something off because we can’t commit as much time as we would like to our effort.

Today I had the chance to put this good practice to good use. I’m on the hook, in the best possible way, to give a reflection (aka: sermon) at our church in a couple of weeks. There are not a lot of days with much open space between now and then, so I decided to channel my good friend. I sat down at the computer and said, out loud in my best Mark impression to make it official, “You have two hours to pull a solid draft of your message together.”, and then proceeded to get it done.

When something is looming large on your mental horizon, consider channeling Mark. Set a time limit and get to work. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish!

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