Customer Service

After many years working for Nordstrom, an organization known for its excellence in customer service, the bar I set when it comes to responding to my needs when I am the customer is admittedly high, and surprisingly simple.

Care about me. Help me.

Recently I’ve had two experiences in stark contrast to one another.

LOW BAR

In the Costco checkout line (and for the record, I love Costco) I asked about an item I hadn’t been able to find. 

Me: Do you know if you have an capers? 

Employee: I have no idea what those are. 

My thought bubble: That’s not what I asked. 

Me: Do you think someone could find out for me? 

The other employee at the register overheard the conversation and asked her to go see if she could find out if there were any capers in stock, at which point she replied: I have no idea what those are.  

My thought bubble: That’s not what she asked either. 

Finally, yet another employee came over and informed me that they were out of stock, but were anticipating new ones that would, of course, be located in the meat department. 

My thought bubble: None of you have any idea what a caper is, do you.

The experience could have so easily been raised to a higher bar.  

Me: Do you know if you have any capers? 

Employee: I have no idea what those are, but want to know, and would be happy to go find out if we have any. 

HIGH BAR 

I’ve spent approximately 5 hours, with five different customer service agents on the phone with Apple Care to resolve an issue on my iMac. 

Me: I’m having a problem with the Message function on my Mac. I can receive messages but not send them. 

Employee: I’m so sorry for the problem. Let’s take a look and get this resolved for you as quickly as we can.  

My thought bubble: I love Apple Care 

The problem isn’t resolved yet, and has been escalated through the ranks, now landing with the engineering team, but there is no doubt that they care and will stick with me until it is resolved.  

The experience could have so easily been dropped to a lower bar. 

Me: I’m having a problem with the Message function on my Mac. I can receive messages but not send them. 

 Employee: We have online resources. Have you tried those?

When it comes right down to it, in one way or another we are all in the customer service business, because we are all here to care about each other, and help each other. Or at least we should be. 

 In case you’re interested...https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caper

Illustration by Otto Wilhelm Thomé and displayed on Wikipedia 

Discouragement

One of my least favorite emotions, and yet like all of the ones we’d rather not experience, discouragement has something to say. It sets in when something rears its head again, or when we think we’ve gotten to the root of something and come to find out that we haven’t. At this point it feels like it would be easier to just throw in the towel, forget whatever the issue is, or give up rather than keep going. But this gray sense of disappointment, whether in ourselves, others, or both, is an invitation to look deeper.

Discouragement tells us that what’s been done isn’t what needs to be done. Our work is to figure out what that is.

Discouragement suggests that there are stones yet unturned, paths not yet taken, or viewpoints not yet seen. Our work is to turn over new rocks, embark on the new trail, or look through a different lens.

Left to its own devices, discouragement can lead to a loss of confidence and enthusiasm, leaving us downhearted and demoralized. So rather than leave it to its sorry little self, it is better to grab it by the hand and walk with it until a next right step appears, which if we stick with it, it almost always does. And that’s encouraging. 

The Residual Effect

re·sid·u·al/riˈzijo͞oəl/

adjective - remaining after the greater part or quantity has gone

 Recently I had the experience of spending several days with very good friends. Three of us are colleagues and meet together on a monthly basis for a video visit. Our intent is always to show up authentically, speak truthfully, listen deeply, and help each other become more of the people we are meant to be. One of our trio had the idea of finding time for a longer connection. One that was more  up close and personal than can transpire in a couple of hours every month. A time to step aside from the goings on of our everyday lives, and for good measure, to bring our partners with us. I wrote about this experience in an earlier post at the beginning of our time in the house overlooking the water that we rented for our getaway...

Our agenda? To show up as ourselves.

The topics for our time together? Whatever felt real, relevant, and revelatory. 

Looking back a week later, it is clear to me that when it came to showing up authentically and sharing the real, the relevant, and the revelatory, everyone knocked it out of the park. Not because of a need to perform or succeed, but rather out of a desire to be known and seen.  Riding the ferry back to the lives that awaited each of us, I think we all felt enlivened, enriched, and challenged by our conversations and the connections forged over morning coffee, long meandering hikes in the woods, shared meals, and time spent lingering over another glass of wine. We shared stories both fragile and funny, read poetry aloud to one another, dug deeper into what makes us tick and the forces that have shaped us into the people we are today. We posed questions and gave our best answers, cooked for one another and cleaned up after each other, and when we left it is safe to say we all knew ourselves, and one another, better than when we arrived, and we can’t wait to do it again. The cool thing is, we don’t have to wait for a next time to experience more of the goodness that happened, because there seems to be a residual effect that is keeping the experience alive. Whether that means a sense of being more present and engaged, experiencing the light of clarity, or a renewed sense of purpose and vocation, our time together changed us.

What we experience has a residual effect that can linger and endure for good or for ill, which suggests that we are wise to be mindful of how we spend our time and with whom. 

Written with gratitude for Tom, David, Theresa, Alia, and Kyle.  

Feedback Anyone?

How often do you wake up in the morning and hope someone asks Do you mind if I give you some feedback? For most of us, those words rarely lead us to think that someone has something awesome to share with us. We generally prepare ourselves to hear something that shines a light on our shortcomings, failures, or mis-steps, and the truth is, sometimes, ok, many times, it does highlight something that we didn’t see ourselves, but wish we had.

This morning, after reading my latest blog post (Sunday School) which talked about the biblical story of creation and what it might tell us about ourselves, my husband Tom asked if he could share his perspective with me.

Umm. Sure.

“If someone didn’t know your theology, they might think that you believe that the world was literally created in six days. They might not understand that you were saying that the story is meant to point us to a much deeper truth.” My first response was that he hadn’t read it carefully enough, and then I remembered who it was that was offering me the gift of his feedback. As a scientist and a writer himself, he is a careful reader, and, he is also one of my most trusted voices. When he speaks, I (generally) try and listen, so took a deep breath and asked him to tell me more.

In my mind I had specifically written that piece to point to a deeper truth, not as theological commentary on anyone’s understanding of a powerful story of creation. I wrote it to encourage each of us to take seriously the unique errand upon we have been sent. To remind us that when we do the work we are called to do, and share the gifts that are ours to share, we can look upon all that we have done, and see that it is good. Just as the Creator does in the story. That was my point. Tom’s point was that readers might get wrapped up in a theological debate and miss the point altogether. It would have only taken a little more effort on my part to provide some context for my readers. To set the table a bit better before inviting them to partake of the offering.

It’s never fun to feel like we’ve missed the mark, and yet missing it is the only way we can improve our marksmanship. Whether as a writer, speaker, teacher, or coach, the only way I can get better is through honest feedback from trusted sources. The same holds true for all of us. In order to become more of who we are meant to be, to live into our fullness, and yes, to reflect the image of the creative power behind everything, we need to hear from others what they see in us that we cannot see in ourselves. Feedback is always a gift, not because it is always accurate or right or deserved, but because it provides a perspective other than our own, and helps us better understand how we are showing up in the world.

Whether that world took 6 days to create, or 4.6 billion years.

Photo: Pixabay

Real Life

It’s been in the works for awhile now. It all started with a phone call from a friend. We have a monthly video call where three of us connect to check in, go deep, and help one another become more of who we are called to be. He had booked a house on a beach overlooking the water for another gathering, but had the house for a full week, and wondered what it might be like to join him there, and for good measure, to bring our partners as well. Instantly we were all in. The dates went on our calendars, funds were contributed, and we all agreed to bring plenty of good food, good wine, and something meaningful to share with each other. 

On our last phone call we talked about what we wanted the time to look like.

Did we have an agenda?

Were there topics to be covered?

Well. Yes and no.

The agenda? To show up as ourselves.

The topics to be covered? Whatever felt real, relevant, and revelatory.

It’s as simple as that and as hard as it gets.  Kind of like life.

The Prong Collar

Until we brought Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle into our home, I thought a prong collar was a cruel device used to torture dogs. That was then. This is now. As it turns out, this scary looking metal collar, when fitted properly and used correctly, is both extremely effective and very humane. 

Our vision for this joyful creature who now shares our home and fills our hearts is to be the happiest four-legged, curly-haired girl she can be, to know how to keep herself out of harms way, and to ultimately have the maximum amount of freedom possible. Such freedom has to be earned, and with the help of her prong collar, she is banking her freedom chips faster than you can say Fetch!

Ii isn’t punishment, it’s information. Do this, not that. 

It’s like a tap on the shoulder, not a slap in the face.  This is okay, that’s not.

It increases self-restraint. Stop now, not later. 

It provides awareness. This is safe, that’s not. 

It builds connection. I’m ok if you’re ok.

To put it simply—the prong collar is nothing more than a useful feedback mechanism that helps Gracie learn what’s okay, and what’s not. Which, come to think about it, is something we human types need too. 

PS: Gracie wanted us to tell you, Never use a prong collar without proper instruction first.  

With gratitude for Matt Luchsinger and the team at NWB Dogs for helping us be better humans for Gracie.

But You Can't Hide

It is so easy to look for an escape hatch.

We move on from one situation in the hopes of leaving our troubles behind, only to find that they have followed us into the new one.

We head for the greener grass on the other side of the fence, only to discover we haven’t yet learned how to feed and water our own lawn.

We pack up and find a new home, only to be greeted at the door by the same life we had before.

We end one relationship in search of a better one, and find the same partner wearing a different face.

At one time or another all of us find ourselves in need of a fresh start, and crossing the finish line of our current race is the only to get there.

No matter how fast or far we run, whatever we choose to ignore comes with us wherever we go.

The Garage—A Retrospective

Earlier this year we began talking about all the building and home improvement projects we are excited to take on: a bunkhouse above the garage, a bucket list shop for Tom, a new lawn, an in-ground sprinkler system, an outdoor shower, a garden, an outdoor meditation space, and a full-size labyrinth, just to name a few.

Every one of those projects sounded fun, creative, and exciting. However, none of those could happen until we cleaned out the garage, which didn’t sound fun, creative, or exciting.

As of 6 days ago, it was filled to the rafters with things we’ve accumulated over the past 25 years as we’ve moved most of the contents from one garage, basement, extra bedroom, or storage unit to another.

Today, it isn’t.

Looking back over a week (that actually turned out to be fun, creative, and exciting) here are a few things that are worth noting…

Starting matters.

The first step is always the hardest, so get it over with and get moving.

Momentum matters.

Once in motion, keep going.

Finishing matters.

When tempted to stop, don’t.

This morning we torched off the burn pile, made up of pine branches, and, an accumulation of the flotsam and jetsam that did nothing but weigh us down and wear us out.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

With gratitude to Bob and Margie. We couldn’t have done it without you.

The Garage Day 4

At first you think you’re done.

And then you're not.

Because it feels so good to get some momentum going and like you’re making great progress, which you probably are, it can be tempting to think the job is done.

Because it feels so good to have accomplished so much, it is tempting to call it good, and leave the remaining boxes, bins, nooks, and crannies for another day.

We aren’t doing that, and the sifting, sorting, and tossing continues.

When tackling a project like the garage, or an inner life for that matter, as it says on one of our daughter’s favorite coffee mugs—There is no secret. Keep going.



Clean Up

Sometimes we make it way too complicated.

At our grandboy’s pre-school when it’s time to clean up, the teachers sing the Cleanup Song, and everybody works together to tidy up the room. To put it back in order, ready for what comes next, and who comes next. 

Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere. 

Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share. 

Put ‘em away. 

Put ‘em away. 

Put your toys away. 

Imagine if we just did that.

Imagine if we all just cleaned up after ourselves and one another. 

Imagine if we all just did our share, everybody, everywhere.

Imagine if we all just put our world back in order, ready for what comes next and who comes next. 

Imagine.