Missy's Bridal

All I wanted was a horse. Not just any horse. I wanted Missy.

A bay Quarter Horse, she belonged to Dale Tackett. He was a cowboy who worked summers as a wrangler on the guest ranch we visited every summer in Sisters, Oregon. Missy was gentle, wise, wicked good with cattle, and worked with a hackamore bridle called a Bosal. She had a light touch and seemed to know what he wanted before he asked it of her.

When I was eight years old I asked my dad if I could have a horse. I could when I was 12, he said, if I wanted to work hard enough to save the money to buy one. By the time I was 12 I had saved $350. On my 12th birthday my parents took me to Sisters for the weekend. The guest ranch was closed for the season, but we stopped by for a visit. Dale met us out by the barn, and after a little small talk, he climbed to the top rail of the fence and gave a long whistle. Over the rise in the field one horse came into view, cantered through the open gate and into the arena. It was Missy.

Dale wanted to sell her. To me. For $350.

Missy, Pistol’s Little Miss, and me. 1967

Missy came with her bridal, the only one I ever used on her, and from the time I was 12 until I left for college, summers were spent working as a wrangler on that same guest ranch. Work started early as the sun came up and didn’t stop until long after dark. The staff bunked near the barn, except for the few weeks that my parents rented a home at a nearby ranch. During that time I stayed with them, riding the several-mile trail through the woods to and from work. In the morning the sun warmed our faces, and at night, we traveled by starlight. It was dark and a little scary for a young girl. Night noises came from tree branches, underbrush, and the footfalls of creatures hidden in the shadows. I remember one night when a pair of yellow eyes followed us most of the way home. Turning my collar up against the chill, there was no moon that night and the woods were darker than usual. I wanted to cry out for help, but there was no one to call. It was just me and my horse, and I was at once grateful when the lights of the ranch house finally appeared, and gratified for braving one more ride home in the dark. It’s the first time I remember the sensation of being afraid and courageous all at the same time. Time in the saddle will do that to you.

On the back of a horse I found freedom and independence at an early age. I learned how to work hard, work long, and work well. Because of her, I am stronger and more courageous. I learned to trust the horse beneath me, knowing that she could see the trail even when I could not. If I lost my way in the woods, she would always get us home. I think Missy knew that I needed her more than she needed me. She saw me through my teenage years that often felt filled with as much pain, loneliness, and angst as laugher, friendship, and fun. Her patience, loyalty, forgiveness, and grace tended to my young heart in ways that even my parents couldn’t.

So many memories are wrapped up in my time spent on the back of my horse, reins held loose and low on her neck. It’s a magical thing how objects connect us to memory. Missy is long gone, but I’ve never been able to let go of that bridal.

Until now.

My great niece, Ashby (named for my mom), has fallen in love with horses too. We are sister hippophiles, and she is about the age when Missy, and her bridal, came into my life.

Now, it’s is time for me to pass the reins to Ashby.

I can’t wait to see where her ride takes her.


Blast From The Past

In 2006 one of my daughters was a 20-year-old college student, living in a 300 sq. ft. apartment in Missoula, Montana. One day shortly after one of those Family Weekends where we parents make endless runs to Target, fold piles of laundry, and scream our hearts out at football games, she wrote me a lovely card to thank me for the time, the meals out, and whatever we brought home from Target to make her space feel cozy.

She addressed it, sealed it, and stuck it in a drawer somewhere.

This last weekend she unearthed that un-mailed card when she and her husband cleaned out their garage. Today over coffee, my now 34-year-old daughter and I opened that card. It was filled with wonderful words of love and appreciation, and two checks written to pay me back for something or other. It had found its way me at long last, and, in perfect timing.

Sometimes a blast from the past is exactly what we need for the here and now.

( And no, I’m not going to cash those checks.)



Young Love

If I loved Christmas when I was a youngster, I loved Christmas night most of all. That was when the house grew quiet, the fire got another log, and a new world opened up with the turn of the first page of my new book. Every year that new book was the present I looked forward to more than any other. It fed an early love of the written word, which grew into the love of penning my own. It was then, and is now, a love that asks to be fed, and in feeding it, I am the one who is nourished.

What we come to love in life often shows up in our earliest years. Whatever your is, it is a love that deserves to be fed. Feed it well, and you will be the one who is nourished.

A stack of food for thought-Christmas 2019

A stack of food for thought-Christmas 2019

Family

Sometimes there’s just nothing like family.

I’m spending a few days with one of our daughters and her family. Which turned out to mean that I have the chance to play with the grandboys, fold laundry, drink coffee, talk about life, and get ready for a birthday party on Saturday, complete with a homemade smash cake for the one year old to, well, smash his face into. Earlier this week, my brother drove a couple of hours to spend the day with us up at our cabin. Which turned out to mean that we had the chance to sit on the porch, drink coffee, talk about life, and of the cross country trip he and his wife will be making next month for their move into their new home. Which turned out to mean that we had the chance to talk about how sweet it is that they are moving closer to their son and his wife, and the bitterness of that sweet in moving away from lifelong friends and family. He had a little surgery yesterday to clean up a knee, and while his knee did fine, his heart acted up a bit and he had to stay overnight in the hospital. Which turned out to mean his son decided to change his travel plans at the last minute and fly into town for a couple of days. Which turned out to mean that my wonderful nephew showed up at my daughter’s house this afternoon. Which turned out to mean that over dinner those two cousins had the chance to reminisce about the weekly dinners they used to have together when they were both single and living in the same city. She would plan the menu, he’d show up with the groceries, and she would cook. Which turned out to mean that they learned their way around the kitchen together. Which turned out to mean that tonight, while she and her husband put little boys to bed, he  cleaned up the kitchen before heading out. Which turned out to mean that at the end of the day, sometimes there’s just nothing like family.

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