…with liberty
and justice…
for all.
Today we vote.
Tomorrow we get back to work.
All of us.
Because that’s what it will take if we want those hallowed words to ring true, and not hollow.
The Baby & The Bath Water
Our church is currently without a pastor, and as we search for the next one, each Sunday different members of our congregation take on the responsibility for giving the reflection (aka, the sermon). It is a wonderful practice, allowing us to learn more about each other, and be inspired by one another’s stories.
This morning a dear friend stepped up to the pulpit and shared the story of the people and experiences that have helped shape her faith into what it is today. While she spoke of several significant relationships, the one that struck me the most was the influence of her mother. As it turns out, their relationship was complicated and painful. What made the story so powerful was that while she has had to live with and acknowledge the hurtful and hard parts, she has also chosen to honor and appreciate the significant and positive ways her mom influenced the faith she so values today.
Most of us are a mixed bag, and most of the time we are doing the best we can with what we’ve got to work with. However, when it comes to relationships that are different from how we wish them to be, especially one as significant as that between a daughter and a mother, it is easy to focus only on the negative and painful. My friend was able to sort out her mother’s mixed bag separating the good from the not-so-good, the wheat from the chaff, the gifts from the trash.
We can be quick to throw the out the baby with the bathwater. The story shared today was a grace-filled reminder that we don’t have to.
Because It Matters
”Voting is the expression of our commitment to ourselves, one another, this country and this world.” ~ Sharon Salzberg
I just finished casting my ballot, and will take it to the dropbox in our little rural town on Monday.
A few days ago, I happened to be standing in our post office when a good friend and neighbor walked in. While it is safe to say that we’ve probably never cast our votes for the same candidates or issues, if I needed help anytime of the day or night, he’d be there for me. Another time, I walked into the General Store where he was having a cup of coffee with his buddies, and when he saw me, he stood up and gave me a hug, and then proclaimed “It’s my favorite Democrat!” It’s a short list.
But here’s the thing, we both care about a lot of the same issues and want good things for the world, our country, our little town, and our fellow human beings. We certainly don’t agree on what all of those things are, or how to go about addressing what ails us, but we do agree that there’s a lot that needs fixing.
I don’t know of a person who is happy with the state of our union right now. What I do know, is that it’s going to take all of us to mend what’s broken.
Please vote.
It matters.
Artist: Sally Gilchrist
A Kind Word
It’s been a long week for almost everyone I know, and our hearts are in need of kindness, gentleness and grace. To that end, I share a small story to close out the week and enter into the weekend.
In 2015 I was on the hunt for a few new clothes, and had wandered into one of my favorite little boutiques. Armed with potential purchases, I stepped into the dressing room, and as I hung up the clothes I noticed the following words at the top of the mirror:
While I can’t speak for everyone, for many of us the dressing room can be a place of shame and criticism. The lights are too bright, the rooms too small, and a glance in the mirror often elicits harsh words at the image staring back at us.
Every dressing room mirror had those same words, and while I’ve never forgotten them, I often forget to practice them.
In the dressing room, out in the world, or behind the closed doors of our inner thoughts, we often reserve our most unkind words for ourselves.
Let’s not.
May I Have This Dance?
At this point in life, my priorities are pretty clear, and all equally important, or darn close. One of my frustrations has been that I want to focus on just one priority at a time. When investing in my relationships, I don’t want to deal with work stuff. If I’m in the middle of a writing deadline, I don’t want to stop for a phone call. In the early morning, the time when I do the few things that fill and sustain me for the rest of the day, getting derailed can send me into a tailspin that can last all day. Exercise is a lifeline, and when my schedule suddenly doesn’t have room for a workout, my spirits start to droop, not to mention my thighs.
I just want to focus on one thing at a time! Is that too much to ask??
As a matter of fact, it is.
Life comes at us in rich and multifaceted ways, and yet we seem determined to corral the various parts of our lives into neatly phrased metaphors.
Take work-life balance for instance. I’ve never cottoned to the idea, and it conjures up images of a teeter-totter. Work sitting on one end, life (I guess that means everything else) on the other. But from what I remember, the fun comes in going up and down, not in attempting to keep both ends evenly up in the air. Balanced in the middle, nothing is happening on either end, except working mightily to keep things right where they are.
An idea I like more, but that still doesn’t quite get at it, is juggling. A bit more playful, but keeping all of those various balls in the air is tricky, and more often than not, at least in my case, they all end up on the floor anyway.
While wandering through some photos the other day, I landed on a different approach.
I’ve decided to trade in the teeter-totter and the juggling act for the dance floor.
Think about it. All of the various parts of our lives are like dance partners, inviting us to another part of the floor. Dance is an ongoing interaction between us and the music, and if we don’t try and force it, we find our own natural rhythm, and it is a joy to behold.
Years ago I was at a wonderful celebration. We were all enjoying dinner at tables surrounding the dance floor, and as the band played on, most of us seemed to be focused on our wine and dinner, leaving the dancing for later. But there was a magnificent 90 year old woman from Greece at the party who suddenly stood up, grabbed her wine glass, and made her way, by herself, to the dance floor. Before losing herself to the music, she looked at the rest of us, and with a Zorba-The-Greek kind of flourish said, “I can always eat. I want to dance!”
I think Ben agrees with her!
Mosca Studio Photographers http://www.mosca.studio/
See you on the dance floor!
It Is Well
My soul is tired tonight.
It’s not a bad thing, just a true thing.
Many near and dear to me are in the midst of loss, grief, pain, uncertainty, and unrelenting change, and their souls are weary too.
It’s not a bad thing, just a true thing.
There is no way around or over such times, there is only through. And while we can’t walk someone else’s trail for them, we can accompany them on their way. If we are called to do nothing else, we are called to this. To sidle up to one another, and stick together, come what may.
We listen, and listen, and then listen some more. We connect them with needed resources, and clear our calendars.. We show up without being asked, and pick up the phone and call. We get online and order something that will lift their spirits when they find it delivered to their porch. We cry with them, and laugh with them in that crazy-ass way that only dark humor can turn on a moment of light. We commiserate with them, and cook for them. Shake our fists heavenward with them, even as we offer up prayers of gratitude for the grace and strength to make it through another day.
As they do for me, I do for them. As I do for them, they do for me.
And so it goes.
It is nothing if not a maze of shared grace.
Weary though it may be, at the end of this day, it is well with my soul.
What Love Does
“That’s because love is never stationary. In the end, love doesn’t just keep thinking about it or keep planning for it. Simply put: love does.”
~ Bob Goff Author of Love Does, and Everybody Always
A friend and I spent one weekend in front of the fire reading, crying, and laughing our way through Love Does by Bob Goff.
When it comes to love, his book title says it all…
Love Does.
Based just on what I’ve seen today, here are a few of the things love does:
Love picks up the phone and asks for help.
Love answers the phone and listens.
Love calls to see how you are doing.
Love checks the oil in your car.
Love comes to your home to grieve, and to heal.
Love opens the door to someone in need.
Love helps you mail a package at the post office.
Love sends you a text.
Love gives you room to roam.
Love yells “Shotgun!” when you try and run away.
Love stays home with the babies so you can prepare for your next lecture.
Love does what it takes to keep a sacred monthly phone date.
Love laughs with you at the most inopportune times.
Love lets you push its hands off your shoulders because that feels too claustrophobic, but continues to stand behind you in quiet support.
Love kisses you in the middle of the day.
Love asks “How’s your heart today?”
Love encourages you in your writing.
Love stands behind you.
Love stands beside you.
Love goes before you.
Love
Does
What did you see love do today?
Tone Deaf
“The soul speaks its truth only under quiet, inviting, and trustworthy conditions.”
~ Parker Palmer
After a thorough audiology test, I learned that my hearing isn’t what it used to be. No surprise there. What was interesting, is that it in my case it isn’t so much about volume as it is about pitch. The higher the tone, the harder to hear.
Thankfully, there is great technology available to address my particular issues, and according to my audiologist and plenty of good research, the sooner those concerns are addressed, the better my long-term results.
Actual hearing loss aside, it is easy for any of us to become tone deaf. To tune out people we find challenging. To turn a deaf ear to those who disagree with us. To be deaf as a post to conversations that need to be had.
Increasing the volume isn’t the answer.
Increasing our attention to what wants to be heard is.
The Basics And The Trick Play
Sometimes as a writer, it’s fun to practice the basics of your craft by connecting unlikely dots that are tricky to link together. Today is one of those days.
It’s Sunday, which in our home usually includes football and puttering with household chores. In both of those arenas, it’s usually about the basics. But sometimes, it calls for a trick play.
Today, on and off the football field, I’ve seen the need for both.
The Seahawks won their game, and winning was mostly about the basics. They focused on the run game and won the turnover battle. After a slow start to their season, they are back to the basics, and it is paying off.
RB Chris Carson
The toilet in our guest bathroom is leaking, and Tom decided to tackle the job today. It doesn’t get much more basic than a toilet.
Tom-the-Plumber tackles the basics.
Late in the Seahawks game, with a two-possession lead, they found themselves in a fourth down situation deep in their own end zone, and were lined up to punt. Seattle’s punter, Michael Dickson, received the snap, appeared to be about to kick, and then tucked the ball in close and sprinted to a first down. While they probably would have won the game without the trick play, it bought them time and a new set of downs. The interesting thing about this trick play is that it wasn’t actually called in the way it played out from the sidelines. Dickson was the only one who saw the opportunity to make it happen, took a chance, and made the play. It was risky. It was fun. It worked.
They didn’t win the game by relying on trick plays. But once the basics are attended to, something creative can emerge.
As it turned out, the replacement part Tom purchased for the toilet was the wrong size. In order to keep it in working order until he can get the appropriate parts, he needed to get creative. Plumber’s Putty to the rescue.
In life and on the football field, knowing, mastering, and applying the basics are keys to success.
Trick plays come in handy too.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
When I was a freshman in college, my parents flew me home for my birthday in October. They had rented a wonderful cabin for the weekend in Central Oregon, and in front of the fire, over a glass of wine, they couldn’t wait to hear all about my fall semester adventures.
At which point I burst into tears.
I told them how miserable I was, and how much I hated it. I was lonely, lost, and wanted to come home. Now.
After a long moment, my dad quietly said, “Tell you what. If at the end of spring semester you still feel this way, you can come home. Stick it out until then.”
Endurance.
He was asking me to endure what felt like an impossible situation. Not forever. Just until the end of the school year. I didn’t like the idea, but I did it. Probably no surprise, but by the end of the year you couldn’t have pried me away from school with a crowbar.
Endurance is a quality that can only be cultivated by enduring. By sticking with it when the going gets tough, we develop staying power. Continuing to grind our way through, we hit the pay dirt of inner grit. By tolerating the discomfort, we become tenacious.
My dad didn’t give me an out, he gave me a light at the end of the tunnel. And the only way to get there was on my own two feet. Finding my way through that long-ago tunnel of endurance then, has served to remind me that I can do so again.
When we find ourselves in another tunnel, in the midst of what feels like an impossible situation, it’s time to find a light, no matter how dim or distant, and with dogged determination, make our way there.
