What We Profess

My new passport came in the mail today. To tell you the truth, I’ve never really examined the pages of of my passport before. Driving home from the post office as I sat in the passenger seat, I thumbed through the pages. At the top of each empty page, awaiting the stamp of any countries visited in the future, are quotes that are meant, I suppose, to reflect the heart of the American people. To profess who we are to the world.

The cause of freedom is not the cause of a race or a sect, a party or a class - it is the cause of humankind, the very birthright of humanity. ~ Anna Julia Cooper

Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world must first come to pass in the heart of America. ~ Dwight E. Eisenhower

We have a great dream. It started way back in 1776, and God grant that America will be true to her dream. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

We send thanks to all the Animal life in the world. They have many things to teach us as people. We are glad they are still here and hope it will always be so. ~ Excerpt from the Thanksgiving Address, Mohawk version

I wonder about those words in my passport. Are we who we profess to be? Do we practice who we profess to be? If we don’t practice who we claim to be, then like the unstamped pages of my new passport, our words are empty.

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Prime Time

Community is a place where the connections felt in our hearts make themselves known in the bonds between people, and where the tuggings and pullings of those bonds keep opening our hearts. ~ Parker Palmer

Tonight there was a fund raiser in our little town. A prime rib dinner no less, where pounds and pounds of beef were cooked to perfection by one of our own, along with foil wrapped baked potatoes, green salad and homemade desserts. Volunteers sliced and scooped and served and cleared. The money raised will support the senior class, which depending on the year ranges in size from one to three students.

It’s been a long week, and I for one was bone tired, but in a time when there is so much that pulls us apart, it was good to come together to sit around paper covered cafeteria tables with our neighbors, catch up on the goings on in our lives, and remember that come what may, we are all in this life together.

The Air Around Us

Today we purchased a new-to-us car. It is the newest, and the nicest car we’ve ever bought, and adventures await us on the road for sure. But what struck me today wasn’t the new car, but a comment made by one of the employees. Once we had made the decision and were waiting for all the details to be finalized, I was outside leaning against a lamppost when the senior sales manager walked by. I shared with her what a great job the sales associate had done with us…treating us with respect, professionalism, and just plain human kindness. The things we want to occur in any and all interactions we have with anyone else on our shared planet.

This is where it got interesting.

She said, and I quote:

OK… this is kind of weird, she said.

At which point I interrupted her and said… I love weird.

At which point she said, When you and your husband walked up to our counter today, we noticed something about you. You were so warm and kind. As you can imagine, at a car dealership, people come with their pre-conceived notions about what they are going to find, and so we don’t usually get “warm and kind”. After you walked away from the desk, we all looked at each other, pointed to you, and said, “It’s going to be a good day.”

Here’s the thing. Every day we bring with us an aura of who we are, how we are, and the kind of souls we are, or aspire to be. We have an air about us that those around us inhale. Some days I for one do way better than others. Today it was warmth and kindness. Other days, probably not so much.

It seems that today we got it right and had an air about us that had the fragrance of warmth and kindness.

Every time we get in our new-to-us car, I hope to be reminded that whatever we exhale, the air that flows from who and how we are in that moment is going to be inhaled by those around us.

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Traction

It’s been two weeks since I took on the challenge of becoming a better steward of my time. (See The Days of Our Lives ) By determining who and what matter to me, the end result was a framework for how I spend my time, and where I spend my energy. That framework is quickly becoming a platform for making decisions that are in line with who I want to be and what I want my life to be about. Taking the time to get clear about all of that is creating traction in multiple directions. Everything from getting more sleep and exercise, envisioning and crafting new work, connecting with people and getting time to myself, to getting the everyday necessities done. Before going through the process two weeks ago, I was having a hard time getting purchase in any of those areas.

Traction is important.

Traction is what keeps us moving in the right direction.

Traction is what helps us stay on the trail when the going gets slippery.

Traction is what helps us get a grip…and keep it.

No matter what chapter of life we are in, we all need traction to will help us keep on keeping on in the right direction.

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Many Happy Returns

For as long as I can remember, when celebrating a birthday in our family, after grace and before we eat, we speak a blessing to the person who is having a birthday. If we aren’t together, we call on the phone and speak the blessing across the miles.

Many happy returns on the day of thy birth

Many seasons of sunshine be given

May god in his mercy prepare you on earth

For a beautiful birthday in heaven

It just isn’t a birthday without those words. Words that have come to mean the best of home and family, grace and connection. In spite of our differences and many imperfections, it is the perfect blessing to speak into the lives of those we love.

Many happy returns on the day of thy birth

Since the 1700s those words have meant a wish that the recipient of the word lives to experience that day coming again and again and again, and that those years will be filled with happiness. Every trip around the sun is a gift, and to begin a new year with a wish for more to come, sets a new adventure in living off on the right foot.

Many seasons of sunshine be given

There is a rhythm to life that is lived out through the changing seasons. The season of sunshine is the growing season. The time when the fruits of our labors ripen on the branch, and when that which we have sown with our lives grows into fullness and nourishes the world around us.

May god in his (and her) mercy prepare you on earth

We are a small part of a much larger story. One that is far beyond what we can think, dream or imagine. We are always in preparation for what comes next, and everything that happens to us also happens for us. Not done to us by some distant hand to teach us a lesson, but in the company of a loving unseen presence to transform us into the fullness of who we are meant to be.

For a beautiful birthday in heaven

Try as we might, we can’t see beyond the horizon of death. It isn’t ours to know. All we have is now, and what we have to work with is our life . How we live here is meant to be a picture of how we will live there. On earth as it is in heaven.

Today as I start my 67th trip around the sun, this blessing reminds me that I am here to craft a meaningful life. One that will continue to touch the world for good long after I’m gone.

A Fly In Our Ointment

"Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour." Ecclesiastes 10:1 (King James Version)

Sometimes a memory just shows up and makes you smile and cringe, all at the same time.

Lots of years ago when I was a single mom, making my way back to financial security, I’d finally been able to purchase a small home in a quiet neighborhood. And while I felt proud of that accomplishment, it still didn’t measure up to what I thought life should look like. Most of my friends seemed to have found a way to purchase larger homes, furnished with new furniture, in nicer neighborhoods. Most of my furnishings had been gathered at estate sales, the goodwill, and hand-me-downs from friends and family. It was cozy, but far from classy, and I wanted classy.

Getting ready for a family celebration in our humble abode, I surveyed the wine selection. My budget afforded me to buy jug wine. My vision for what it meant to be a classy hostess meant a selection of lovely bottles. Then I remembered that I had a few empty bottles that others had brought to earlier gatherings stashed out in the recycling bin. I grabbed a couple of the empties, dusted them off, and filled them with the jug wine. There’s more than one way to skin a classy cat! The jug wine appeared for all the world to be the nice wine depicted on the label.

Until.

Pouring the first glass for the first guest, along with the jug wine, out poured a dead fly. Not what you’d call classy. In my rush to put on a good appearance I had neglected to do a thorough cleaning of the old bottles.

Classy is being proud of where you are. Folly is pretending to be where you are not.

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Showing Up

Tonight there is a community conversation centered around my book BLUSH: Women & Wine. In that book, I suggest that we all have our coping mechanisms of choice. Those ways in which we hide from our own lives, and distance ourselves from the things we’d rather not face, the feelings we’d rather not experience, and the parts of ourselves that we try to keep under lock and key. As I say in BLUSH,Wine has been my “thing”. For others, it may stake no claim, and I raise my glass to them. But. Something does. Whether addiction to our smart phones or binge watching the latest hit series, smoking pot or online shopping, perfectionism or endless productivity, serving others so that we can ignore ourselves, nightly cocktails or an overflowing social calendar, excessive exercise or a fist full of peanut butter cups, a common thread in the fabric of the human soul is the temptation to avoid pain and discomfort. But hiding from our life today only means running back into it again tomorrow, and the truth of the matter is, it takes so much more energy to run away from our life than to show up for it.

Rather than what is so often cast as a “book talk” byShowing the author, this one is a place to be in conversation with one another. A safe space in which to wonder together, what does it mean to show up fully for the life that is ours, and what prevents us from doing that? Our questions are our own to live. But there is something good that happens when we choose to live them together. There is safety in numbers. Going it together reminds us that we are not alone in our efforts to make sense of things.

So, tonight we will gather together, over glasses of wine (yep…still love the stuff) and share our stories. We are story tellers at heart, and we see ourselves in one another’s stories. My plan is to go first because someone has to. And I’ve learned that if I am willing to tell my story, it can give others the courage to do the same.

Let’s show up for life and tell our stories!

Cheers.

Who Do I Want To Be?

Question of the day:

Who do I want to be in the midst of the life that I have?

We can’t change other people. We really can’t.

We can’t control many of the things that make life challenging. We really can’t.

What we can do is bring the best of ourselves to the day before us. And then get up and do it again tomorrow.

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Wishing It Were Different

When morning comes and my eyes open to the dawn of another day, I have to be honest - my first thought isn’t one of welcome and joy. I’m not one who wakes up with a light heart.

I wish it were different. But it’s not.

I’ve tried waking up with gratitude by expressing thankfulness for a new day. And while I am truly, deeply grateful for every day given to me, I just don’t feel that way as I surface from sleep.

I wish it were different. But it’s not.

In my imagination I should wake up filled with happy feelings, ready to grab life by the hand and head out into the new day. In my imagination, if I were truly crafting a meaningful life, I wouldn’t wake up with a feeling that might best be described as melancholy.

I wish it were different. But it’s not.

Wishing it were different doesn’t make it so. It does, however, make it harder.

Parker Palmer, the writer, activist and teacher, refers to the soul as a wild animal. While it may be tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy, and self-sufficient: and, it knows how to survive in hard places, it is also exceedingly shy. Which means that if we want to catch a glimpse of a wild animal hidden in the forest, we must wait quietly, giving it a chance to emerge. So it seems must I wait quietly for my soul to emerge from sleep. Given quiet and time, and, of course, that sacred first cup of French Press coffee, the soul I know as mine makes her appearance. That’s just how she rolls. Taking me by the hand, we are off on another day of crafting a meaningful life.

As we let go of wishing it were different, we are able to welcome it as it is. And that is what makes all the difference.

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On Our Toes

Recently, in conversation with a young professional, we talked about important skills that might help further their professional growth and development. The one that came to mind was the ability to think well on the spot. This wise young person referred to it as thinking on your toes. Now maybe that is a familiar phrase to everyone but me, but I’d never heard it put that way before.

Thinking on our feet is one thing. But thinking on our toes? That takes things to a whole new level.

To think on our toes means that we are poised and ready.

To think on our toes means that we are agile and responsive.

To think on our toes means that we live with anticipation, eager to encounter what life brings our way.

To think on our toes means that we’ve put in the time it takes to be able to trust ourselves in the moment.

To think on our toes means that we won’t get caught flat footed when challenges hit us or opportunity knocks.

To think on our toes means that we see life as the dance that it is, and are always ready to learn new steps.

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