Setting The Table

This morning I woke up in Albuquerque, NM. Sitting out in the courtyard of our little casita with my coffee, I started reading a new morning book. Part of my practice to live with intention, and to show up as fully as I can for the day before me, is to spend some time reading something nourishing, something that feeds and challenges my soul. Today I turned the first page of the book, Making Sense of Mindfulness by my new-old friend, Keith Macpherson. Soul food at its finest!

What we consume in the morning sets the table for our day.

Just about then my husband Tom joined me in the courtyard. Coffee and book in hand, he settled in with me under a brilliant blue morning sky. Looking up a few moments later, I noticed him reading something on his iPhone, and from the look on his face and the language of his body, knew that he was consuming something other than soul food. Some headline, about some less than soulful action, in some political arena, had whet his appetite and he was loading his plate from a buffet table of less than nourishing stories. 

What we consume in the morning sets the table for our day.

Looking up a little sheepishly, he pushed that overflowing plate aside, and pulled up the blue plate special of the day by Richard Rohr, a Fransician priest, author, and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation here in Albuquerque, and read it out loud. We do that most mornings, and it’s like splitting an order of soul food, both eating from the same plate. Together we’ve committed to this daily morning practice, but on any given morning either of us can get sidetracked, and are grateful when the other invites us back to the practice.

What we consume in the morning sets the table for our day. 

Don’t get me wrong. I believe it’s important to stay informed, and there are terrible things going on in our world that need our attention. But in order to show up fully for playing our part in our shared human drama that is unfolding on our shared planet, we need first to nourish ourselves well. There is an abundance of research suggesting that a nutritious breakfast is essential to our health and wellbeing, and sets the tone for the day. What is good for the body is good for the soul. Let’s nourish ourselves well. The world is hungry for what we have to give. 

What we consume in the morning sets the table for our day.

Up On The Roof

Every once in a while, it’s good to climb up onto the roof, get a glimpse down the road of what might be coming our way, and imagine the potential scenarios that could play out.

The trouble with most of our imaginations is that we tend to conjure up the worst possibilities, and then live as if they have already come true. What we see from the roof sends us scurrying for the basement to hunker down, and ride out a storm that may, or may not, blow in. When we are always preparing for the what ifs, it’s hard to be present for what is. 

The problem with this approach, which all of us are prone to take at one time or another, is that we never get around to living in the house. To fully furnishing and inhabiting the home that is the wholehearted and authentic life we are called to live. 

The roof invites us to consider a different point of view.

What if we turned our worst-case-scenario-what-if-thinking on its head, and used our imaginations to envision the best case scenarios? Began to visit the roof to conjure up our highest hopes and deepest desires, in order to get on with living our way into that vision. It is inside our home that life takes place. It is here that we live with the intention of answering our calling. It is here that we connect who we are with how we live. It is here that we find rest and renewal. It is here that we are nourished. It is here that we remember who we are, why we are, and where we are going. 

Now, as my mitigating husband is good to remind me, using the roof as an effective vantage point from which to see potential dangers, challenges, and risks, is a good practice too. Look down the road, see what’s coming, or might come, and make our preparations. Once we’ve done what we can to get ready for whatever it is, it’s time to leave the roof.  

A roof is meant to be over our heads, not under our feet. 

(Click here to listen to the one and only James Taylor singing Up On The Roof.) 

Pitons

According to Wikipedia, a piton is a metal spike that is driven into a crack or seam in the climbing surface with a climbing hammer, and which acts as an anchor to either protect the climber against the consequences of a fall or to assist progress and aid climbing.

I’ve hiked some steep trails and summited a mountain, but never in conditions that required the use of pitons. I hope I never will, however, if I ever am in a situation where a piton will keep me from free falling down a steep rock face or over a precipice, I will be deeply grateful for those metal spikes driven deep into the crack.

A piton must hold fast, allowing the climber to fall only so far.

A piton becomes a marker for progress made.

A piton is the place from which further progress begins.

A mountain face is not the only place where we suddenly find ourselves in need of an anchor to keep us from falling. Every one of us can fall into old habits, and tumble into long-held stories that are no longer true, or perhaps never were. None of us can make it on our own, and we all need those who will serve as our pitons. Those trusted few with whom we scale the mountains and precipitous cliffs to become our most wholehearted and authentic selves.

Onward.

Upward.

Together.

shutterstock_1040214613 2.jpeg

The Baggage Tag

Every time I pack my suitcase to head out of town, I discover that the baggage tag from my last airplane flight is still attached. From now on, that irrelevant tag is staying behind at the airport, tossed into a trash can, leaving me ready for the next, perhaps as yet unknown, leg of my trip.

It’s not about where we’ve been.

It’s about where we’re going.

Where The Magic Happens

This morning I received phone calls from several people, each eager with anticipation, and maybe a little trepidation, about where life is calling them. New opportunities are appearing, decisions to be made are looming, and the clock is ticking. Which, to my coach’s mind, means that they are exactly where they are supposed to be. The temptation is almost always to play it safe, fearful as most of us are of failure and being found out. We lose sight of what we have to offer, and focus instead on what we perceive we lack. 

Playing it safe will never bring us closer to the authentic and wholehearted lives we are meant to live. To find our way there we must step over our carefully crafted comfort zones, venture out beyond the boundaries we’ve come to count on, and with the mind of an explorer, step out into the unknown.

At the intersection of our experience, expertise, and knowledge up until now, and the unknown territory of that which we have yet to discover, we find ourselves at our growing edge.

And that my friends, is where the magic happens. 

Bearing Witness

Today I had the privilege of witnessing courage under fire.

Courage means speaking the truth in the face of attack.

Courage means standing our ground when the earth is crumbling beneath our feet.

Courage means standing in the presence of fear without flinching.

Courage means facing our own demons.

Courage means holding ourselves to account.

Courage means risking losing it all in service to saving our soul.

Acts of courage abound, and when one of us is brave, the rest of us might dare to be so too.

Onward.

Upward.

Together.

Permission

There are days when nothing sounds good, and trying to decide what to do feels like an exercise in futility.

Maybe you can relate.

You start one thing, find yourself doing another, and never actually finish anything. Kind of like a dog that turns around and around and around, trying but never finding the right spot to lie down. By the time my head hits the pillow tonight, I’ll be lucky if I’ve actually completed one meaningful task.

I got up with the intention of spending some good creative hours at my desk to prepare for an upcoming speaking gig, and reaching out to some potential agents to help me spread my message to the receptive audience I know is out there. Today isn’t the day to do anything like that. Not if I want to actually accomplish anything worthwhile.

So.

Rather than take it all too seriously, I’m giving myself permission to wander aimlessly, let the dust of a couple of intense weeks settle, finish some laundry, unload the dishwasher, make a good dinner, crawl into bed, and call it good.

The sun will come up again tomorrow.

The Pinecone

Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle is all about the pinecone. When it comes to rewarding her for a job well done, food, toys, and praise don’t even come close. It captivates her attention, narrows her focus, and her body fairly trembles with anticipation when waiting for us to release her to leap for her pinecone. She pounces on it, prances with it, and plays with it until it is nothing but a scattered pile of bits. Lucky for her, and for us, there’s plenty more where the last one came from.

Leveraging her love for the cone is one of our best tools to help her become the happiest and best her she can be. It delights, enraptures, fascinates, and bewitches her, and because of that, she is willing to do the hard work we are asking of her, and her hard work is paying off. She is developing the capacity to be patient as she resists the urge to break from her assigned place. The consistency with which she responds to our commands is growing, and her connection to us as the keepers-of-the-cone is getting stronger every day.

Come to think of it, discovering what captivates our attention, what delights, enraptures, fascinates and bewitches us sounds a lot like Gracie, and is one of our best tools for becoming our happiest and best selves.

Gracie wanted me to tell you, whatever your pinecone, find time every day to pounce on it, prance with it, and play with it . She’d tell you herself, but she’s a little busy right now.

The Conversation

I am convinced that we have access to an innate inner wisdom that stands at the ready to assist us.

This past week I saw this inherent sense in action in the participants in the workshop I had the privilege of leading. Focused on the opportunities that await each of us to engage in important, meaningful, and necessary conversations, when asked if they could identify such an opportunity waiting for them, an interaction where the stakes were high and the emotions probably were too, there wasn’t one shake of the head in the room. It was all nods. To a person, everyone knew of at least one conversation waiting for them, and to a person, everyone knew that they were the one to start it.

We know the conversations waiting for us, even if, and perhaps most especially if, we are reluctant to have them. Call them courageous conversations, crucial conversations, inconvenient conversations, or fill-in-the-blank conversations, we know what they are, and why they are. We just don’t want to have them. We don’t want to have to muster the courage in the midst of our vulnerability. We don’t want to start something without knowing how it will turn out. We don’t want to enter the arena knowing we might need to be stitched back together. We don’t want to give voice to something fragile and important that might go unheard. We don’t want to show up and be the only one at the party. And yet, in spite of all of that, the conversation is still waiting for us.

It continues to be my experience that the more I am willing to engage in the conversations that matter, regardless of how scary, challenging, or difficult they may be, the deeper my connections grow. To others, to my convictions, and, to myself. .

Is there a conversation waiting for you?

Safe Spaces

We all need safe spaces for courageous thinking. 

Let’s create them for each other.