Your Real Art

 “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.“

~ Thomas Merton

A lot of years ago my best friend (and amazing artist) Kristine and I attended a creativity retreat led by Julia Cameron, author of the seminal book, The Artist’s Way. We were in Taos, New Mexico staying at the Mabel Dodge Luhan House, an inn with a history of creative types like Georgia O’Keefe, Willa Cather, D.H. Lawrence, and Ansel Adams gathering under its roof. Creativity practically ran down the walls, and seeped up through the floors. 

Joining us for the week were other creative types from around the country, and at the time, I didn’t consider myself to be one of them. I was a “creative wannabe”. My greatest hope for the retreat was that no one  would find me out.

Someone did.

I can remember exactly which doorway I was standing in, and the woman that I was talking to. Everything was going fine until she asked me the one question I had been dreading.

So, what is your art?

Busted. 

 Umm. I’m a writer.

Her eyes narrowed.

But what is your real art? 

She took aim, and fired.

You know, like do you paint? Or draw? Or sculpt? Or design? Your real art. 

Hers was a cheap shot, although I don’t think it was a malicious one. Maybe the same fears and insecurities that made me doubt my own artistic abilities made her uncertain of her own. Maybe she was a “writer wannabe”. 

Her words haunted me for the rest of the retreat and for years to come. But the more creative risks I took, the more I learned about myself. Her question, as it turned out, was a generative one, as I broke it apart and looked at the pieces one at a time.

What is MY real art? It is whatever I envision, create, and display, made visible in the world for all to see. 

What is my REAL art? It is whatever is a true, honest, authentic, and vulnerable  representation of who I am, made visible in the world for all to see. 

What is my real ART? It is whatever I make in my life and of my life, offered up to enrich and beautify the world, made visible for all to see.

The world is but a gallery for our life, and whatever we make out of our lives is made visible in the world for all to see. 

You are an artist.

I am an artist.

We are all artists.

Oh...and I’m a writer.

Viborg Cathedral: Stairs to the tower. Viborg, Denmark

Growing Pains

  On August 20th I posted about working my way through an injury. As the work continues, I continue to  learn about the importance of listening to our pain. 

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 “Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.”

~ Denise Frohman Poet, Writer, Performer

I’ve never lived with chronic physical pain before, and I have a newfound empathy and compassion for those who do. Up until this past year, any aches and pains that I have had have been fleeting. This particular pain however has settled in and made itself comfortable.

It was the pain that first alerted me that all was not well when everyday things like walking, sitting, standing, and sleeping that hadn’t been painful to do before, now were. With the good help of my healthcare team we identified the source of the pain, charted my healing course, and paved a road to recovery. 

My marching orders are to continue to walk with the pain rather than push through it, and listen to the pain rather than silence it with painkillers. This means that I continue to do a little more each day, taking pains to keep the pain at or below its current level. Push through it, and I risk losing my hard won progress. Silence it with narcotics, and I’m in danger of missing the protective signals that pain faithfully sends my way. 

Mine is a marathon, not a sprint. Steady steps result in steady progress, and it is the pain that continues to blaze my trail.

Six months ago I couldn’t walk down our half-mile road much less up a steep hill. Today, I can walk eight miles in a day, and hike up increasingly steep trails. As I stay the course, my healing continues and my strength grows. While not yet free of her, pain has proven to be a faithful companion, and when her work is done, I have faith that she will move on.

When it comes to pain, what is true for my body has proven true for my soul. 

When emotional pain settles in and makes itself comfortable, I am learning to see it as an invitation to step onto another kind of road to recovery. Sometimes it has taken the good help of a professional to help me chart my healing course. My inner-pain asks me to walk with it, not push through it, and invites me to listen to it, not silence it with one of my many chosen painkillers. 

The path to wholeness is a marathon, not a sprint, and steady steps result in steady progress. 

As I stay the course, my inner healing continues and I grow more whole. Pain has proven herself to be a faithful companion, and when her work is done, I have faith that she will move on. 

Fashion Statement

“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who’s wearing it.”  ~Yves Sait Laurent

“I love your style!”

If I had a dollar for every time someone has sidled up to me with those exact words, I would have an unlimited clothing budget. While I love it when people compliment my style, it kind of cracks me up. I’ve been rocking the same style for years, which means that I am never in style with the latest look.

But I am apparently in style with my self. Somehow the way I put myself together on the outside matches the way I’m put together on the inside. 

I think that is what we are all after, after all. To be clothed in our true self. Lots of years ago, I went to a business lunch clothed in anything but. I was on a road trip with my sister, and she was coming with me to meet the literary agent for Letters to Our Daughters. As I was about to get dressed for the meeting, my sister suggested that I might want to borrow something of hers instead. While I knew then (as I do now) that she always has my best interest at heart, when it comes to fashion, she and I couldn’t be more different.

In a word, her style is fancy.

Mine is not. 

Ignoring my inner fashion editor I slipped on her clothes, and slipped out of myself. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more uncomfortable in my own skin, covered as it was in someone else’s cloth, and I couldn’t finish my overpriced salad fast enough. 

Lesson learned.  

When it comes to fashioning a wardrobe, or fashioning a life, remember the the words of Oscar Wilde...”Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

PS... if you want to see who I might have been, if I’d lived in a galaxy far, far away....http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Maz_Kanata

Fashion Statement

“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who’s wearing it.”  ~Yves Sait Laurent

“I love your style!”

If I had a dollar for every time someone has sidled up to me with those exact words, I would have an unlimited clothing budget. While I love it when people compliment my style, it kind of cracks me up. I’ve been rocking the same style for years, which means that I am never in style with the latest look.

But I am apparently in style with my self. Somehow the way I put myself together on the outside matches the way I’m put together on the inside. 

I think that is what we are all after, after all. To be clothed in our true self. Lots of years ago, I went to a business lunch clothed in anything but. I was on a road trip with my sister, and she was coming with me to meet the literary agent for Letters to Our Daughters. As I was about to get dressed for the meeting, my sister suggested that I might want to borrow something of hers instead. While I knew then (as I do now) that she always has my best interest at heart, when it comes to fashion, she and I couldn’t be more different.

In a word, her style is fancy.

Mine is not. 

Ignoring my inner fashion editor I slipped on her clothes, and slipped out of myself. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more uncomfortable in my own skin, covered as it was in someone else’s cloth, and I couldn’t finish my overpriced salad fast enough. 

Lesson learned.  

When it comes to fashioning a wardrobe, or fashioning a life, remember the the words of Oscar Wilde...”Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

PS... if you want to see who I might have been, if I’d lived in a galaxy far, far away....http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Maz_Kanata

Music To Our Ears

“Don’t die with your music still inside you.”  ~ Wayne Dyer

Hiking in the forest up above a Bavarian village, I had the sense that at any moment Julie Andrews would burst upon the scene, singing her heart out. When it came to singing, she just couldn’t seem to help herself. She made music wherever she went.

Even though we never caught a glimpse of Fraulein Maria on our hike, the hills were alive with the sound of music, coming from the bells around the necks of the cows grazing all around us. The cows just couldn’t seem to help themselves. They made music wherever they went.

I think we are meant, like Maria, and like the Bavarian cows, to make our music wherever we go.

 Our music is just another word for our life.

The one we are meant to live.

The authentic one.

The wholehearted one.

When the music is ours, it isn’t a performance.

It is an offering.

When we find our music inside of us, we just can’t seem to help ourselves. We make it wherever we go.