A sign of wisdom is not believing everything you think. A sign of emotional intelligence is not internalizing everything you feel. Thoughts and emotions are possibilities to entertain, not certainties to take for granted. Question them before you accept them.
Have you ever had the experience of listening to another person, usually someone close to you, and hearing one thing only to find out that they were saying something completely different?
Me too.
All.
The.
Time.
It’s like we have a private internal app that converts what someone else says into a different language entirely. A language that we are so familiar with that we don’t think to question it. We simply believe that what we heard is what they meant to say. They meant to judge us, criticize us, correct us, or hurt our feelings, and then we respond accordingly by reacting, defending, retreating, or any number of personal protective mechanisms. At that point, their internal translation app (because we all have one) kicks into gear and converts our response into their internal language. In other words, no pun intended, a lot can get lost in translation.
It’s a crazy, self-perpetuated, vicious cycle that can only be stopped when we are willing to consider that what we heard isn’t necessarily what they said, and then have the courage to go find out.
Photo: Pexels.com