Recently, the four of us were sitting in front of a blazing fire. The fireplace at my sister and brother-in-law’s home was built in the same style and by the same stone mason who built ours, 15 years before theirs. A great design, there was no need for change. It is one of the central features of their beautiful, custom home, as it is in ours. A beautiful home built by the same builder who built ours, 15 years before theirs. While their home was built with many of the best design features of our home, it also includes a few of the changes we wish we had had the good sense to make back when we built it.
What is true of building a fireplace and a home is true of building a country. Many things are worth protecting and preserving, while some would benefit from thoughtful change. Knowing when to do which requires diverse perspectives working together to achieve a common goal for the common good.
We are among the elders of our family, and deeply value so many of the same things. Over the years we have parented together, navigated challenges that have arrived on our doorsteps together, grieved together, and celebrated together. It’s hard to imagine our life, and the life of our greater family, without each other.
Gathered in front of a fire or around the dinner table, our conversations usually center on the goings on in our families, the adventures we are planning, projects we are undertaking, and of course, the various medical issues that come with the accumulation of our years. However, on this particular evening the conversation turned political. After a few quiet moments, my husband began to share his deep concern and borderline depression about the state of our country at this moment in our shared history. It is territory we tread lightly as we find ourselves on different sides of the ever widening political aisle. The conversation wasn’t centered on a particular hot-button issue, but rather the state of each of our hearts as we contemplated the state of our fragile union. We spoke cautiously but openly, listened deeply, and worked hard to stay in the conversation rather than retreating to safer ground.
It was good.
It was hard.
It was courageous.
It was scary.
And, it was uncomfortable.
Because we live in the midst of forces hellbent on pulling us apart based on our political leanings, being on the same side of an issue with the people we care about is so much easier. So much more comfortable. It feels safer because we can all agree on a common enemy. We can sit in front of a blazing fire, cozy in our beliefs, confirming our biases, safe in our shared points of view, and free to support the right people and blame the other ones.
It’s US here in front of the fire vs THEM out there in the cold.
However.
That night in front of the fire, or on any given day, that is not the case for us. Not because it couldn’t happen, but because we refuse to let it happen. Sitting there in front of a shared fire, we realized that as hard as it can be and as uncomfortable as it can feel, choosing to stay connected in the midst of our differences is what will preserve this country we love. Refusing to be separated by the powerful and frightening forces working to pull us apart, is what will hold this country together. America’s greatness lies in her diversity. Our differing views and experiences are needed so that we can protect and preserve what is worth keeping for the good of all, and bring about thoughtful change where needed for the good of all.
America is at her best when we stand together, and at her worst when we allow ourselves to be pulled apart.
America isn’t made up of us and them, but of we the people.
If we are ever to achieve that far off aspiration of being a country indivisible, with liberty and justice for all, it isn’t up to them
It’s up to us.
