The Basics And The Trick Play

October 28, 2018 Molly Davis

Sometimes as a writer, it’s fun to practice the basics of your craft by connecting unlikely dots that are tricky to link together. Today is one of those days.

It’s Sunday, which in our home usually includes football and puttering with household chores. In both of those arenas, it’s usually about the basics. But sometimes, it calls for a trick play.

Today, on and off the football field, I’ve seen the need for both.

The Seahawks won their game, and winning was mostly about the basics. They focused on the run game and won the turnover battle. After a slow start to their season, they are back to the basics, and it is paying off.

The toilet in our guest bathroom is leaking, and Tom decided to tackle the job today. It doesn’t get much more basic than a toilet.

Late in the Seahawks game, with a two-possession lead, they found themselves in a fourth down situation deep in their own end zone, and were lined up to punt. Seattle’s punter, Michael Dickson, received the snap, appeared to be about to kick, and then tucked the ball in close and sprinted to a first down. While they probably would have won the game without the trick play, it bought them time and a new set of downs. The interesting thing about this trick play is that it wasn’t actually called in the way it played out from the sidelines. Dickson was the only one who saw the opportunity to make it happen, took a chance, and made the play. It was risky. It was fun. It worked.

They didn’t win the game by relying on trick plays. But once the basics are attended to, something creative can emerge.

As it turned out, the replacement part Tom purchased for the toilet was the wrong size. In order to keep it in working order until he can get the appropriate parts, he needed to get creative. Plumber’s Putty to the rescue.

In life and on the football field, knowing, mastering, and applying the basics are keys to success.

Trick plays come in handy too.

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

October 27, 2018 Molly Davis

When I was a freshman in college, my parents flew me home for my birthday in October. They had rented a wonderful cabin for the weekend in Central Oregon, and in front of the fire, over a glass of wine, they couldn’t wait to hear all about my fall semester adventures.

At which point I burst into tears.

I told them how miserable I was, and how much I hated it. I was lonely, lost, and wanted to come home. Now.

After a long moment, my dad quietly said, “Tell you what. If at the end of spring semester you still feel this way, you can come home. Stick it out until then.”

Endurance.

He was asking me to endure what felt like an impossible situation. Not forever. Just until the end of the school year. I didn’t like the idea, but I did it. Probably no surprise, but by the end of the year you couldn’t have pried me away from school with a crowbar.

Endurance is a quality that can only be cultivated by enduring. By sticking with it when the going gets tough, we develop staying power. Continuing to grind our way through, we hit the pay dirt of inner grit. By tolerating the discomfort, we become tenacious.

My dad didn’t give me an out, he gave me a light at the end of the tunnel. And the only way to get there was on my own two feet. Finding my way through that long-ago tunnel of endurance then, has served to remind me that I can do so again.

When we find ourselves in another tunnel, in the midst of what feels like an impossible situation, it’s time to find a light, no matter how dim or distant, and with dogged determination, make our way there.

Holding Your Horses

October 26, 2018 Molly Davis

A few years ago I attended a Cavalia production. Think Cirque du Soleil, on horseback. It was two hours of breathtaking imagery, celebrating the ancient bond between horses and humans. A sensory feast, it captured the imaginations and hearts of the audience, and I was spellbound the entire time. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

There was one act in particular that took my breath away, for both the exquisite beauty, and the emotional impact.

There was a team of six horses, harnessed together in pairs, and the woman holding the reins was standing on the backs of the last two horses. The troupe was galloping around a huge circular ring, and as they rounded each curve, the rider continued to keep one foot on the back of each horse, leaning in to maintain her balance. Around and around and around they went, faster and faster and faster. With every cycle around, it appeared to become increasingly challenging for the rider to maintain her footing on both horses.

Finally, as the horses rounded another curve, the rider stepped fearlessly and flawlessly onto the back of one of her horses.

She knew exactly when to step off of the back of one horse, and plant herself solidly onto the other.

I think of this beautiful act often. Of the attention and energy it took for the rider to maintain her balance on the backs of two horses while continuing to drive the entire team, the wisdom to know when to step off of one and onto the other, and the courage to take that step.

When faced with decisions and potential change, we are often required to keep a foot on both horses, straddling the present and the future, as we hold onto the reins to guide us into what awaits us as we round the curve. It takes energy and attention to maintain our balance, wisdom to know when to step off, and courage to take that step, planting ourselves firmly on the one horse that will carry us forward.

Lifting The Burn Ban

October 25, 2018 Molly Davis

Thanks to the arrival of the fall rains and cooler temperatures, the burn ban has been lifted in our little valley.

Every fall we eagerly await the day when we can finally set fire to the slash piles we’ve accumulated throughout the year. Downed trees from a windstorm, branches that have been pruned, skinny lodgepole pines cut down to thin out the forest behind our house, remnants from the garden, rotted fence posts, dried weeds pulled from the beds and edges of the driveway, the broken chair that is beyond repair, last year’s Christmas tree, and various and sundry other burnable debris.

Dressed in our Carhartt jackets and Muck boots, steaming cups of coffee in hand, we set off the burn pile and watch the flames shoot up into the air.

Tending to the fire as it burns through the pile, it goes from roaring flames, to glowing embers, to smoldering cinders, until all that is left is reddened earth, blackened coals, and ash.

Another year.

Another burn pile.

Fall is reminder to lift the burn ban and tend to that which is no longer viable or useful, or maybe never was. To gather together the habits, old stories, irrelevant beliefs, and hardline positions that have quietly accumulated over the course of another year, and burn them away.

The burn ban is lifted. Time to torch the pile.

The Gift Of Feedback

October 24, 2018 Molly Davis

“That which you most need will be found where you least want to look”

– Carl Jung

A university professor recently asked to send me a video of one of her lectures, and requested that I watch it and provide her with feedback. I was both impressed and honored by the request. Impressed, as it always requires courage to actively solicit feedback. Honored, that she would trust my critique. She had watched the video herself, but wanted more insight on how she is coming across to her students. Brava!

Feedback is a gift.

Whether talking about our relationships, our ways of communicating, how we do or don’t show up in the world, how we deliver a lecture, or, how we make a chocolate cake, we all need help rounding out the picture. We need others to speak into our blind spots and help us see what we can’t, even when it means seeing the things we’d rather not.

Feedback is a gift.

The gift isn’t necessarily in the accuracy of the feedback, or whether it is easy or hard to hear, but because it provides a perspective other than our own. None of us has the whole picture when it comes to who we are, how we operate, or how we are experienced by others. Completing our picture requires help.

Feedback is a gift.

For most of us though, the very idea of receiving feedback, solicited or otherwise, conjures up images of learning only about the bad, and the ugly, never considering that we might discover a hefty portion of the good as well.

Feedback is a gift.

If you have any for me, know that I will consider it a gift.

With thanks to the courageous professor.

When To Think About It

October 23, 2018 Molly Davis

I had a conversation with my sister one time in which I shared a situation that had been causing me some anxiety. I still didn’t have the complete picture of the issue, but would soon. However, I didn’t have it yet. And so, as often happens when we don’t have all of the information about something causing us consternation, I started filling in the blanks, connecting dots that weren’t there, and just generally making stuff up. I continued to mull it over, allowing my thoughts to run in circles, and tried to play out all of the possible scenarios in my head.

It was real productive.

During that conversation I mentioned, yet again, that I didn’t want to spend more time and energy worrying and thinking about it. She interrupted me and said “Well, you don’t have to think about it now, because you’ve already scheduled time to get the rest of the information. Until then you don’t have to think about it.”

She was so right. I had set aside dedicated time on my calendar to actually fill in the blanks, and connect the actual dots.

By assigning a specific time to think about it I was able to stop stewing about it.

If you find yourself on the hamster wheel of worry, assign a specific time to think about it.

And think about it then.

(Hat tip to my sister Margie and her never failing big-sister wisdom)

No! Not That One.

October 22, 2018 Molly Davis

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

~ Elenor Roosevelt

I am an amateur meditator at best, and while I know that I am a better person when I do it, I always feel like I could “do” it better. That I’m never doing it quite right. This leads me to try different ways of meditating, which leads to practicing each approach just long enough to know that I’m still not doing it right. Which leads me to try more ways, which leads to… well… you get the picture.

This was a topic of discussion with Dane Anthony my Spiritual Director. In his wonderful way, he quietly wondered with me if perhaps I could give myself a break and just do it, rather than trying to do it right. He suggested that I pick one way of practicing, and stick with it.

To help me get started, he sent me a page of five possible Breathing Prayers, mantras in which you say a few words as you inhale, and a few more on the exhale. Choose just one, and then stay with my choice. Period.

Here are the five he sent, from which I had to choose one:

Breath in - “Yah”; Breath out - “weh”
Breath in - "God is here.” Breath out - “I am here.”
Breath in - “In God we move, Breath out - and have our being”
Breath in - “Teach me about letting go… Breath out - “ surrender and trust.”
Breath in - “Into your hands…” Breath out - “I commit my spirit.”

Now I don’t know about you, but there is one on that list that would never be my first choice, or my second, third or fourth for that matter. In fact, it would always fall dead last of any number of prayers/mantras/chants that I could choose.

Which of course means…

Deep breath in - I choose…. Deep breath out - Breathing Prayer #4

“Teach me about letting go…

surrender and trust.”

I’m not holding my breath about getting any better at meditating.

But then, I guess that’s not the point.

Photo: Robin Carlisle

God's Idea

October 21, 2018 Molly Davis

“You are exactly what God had in mind when He made you.”

Gregory Boyle S.J.

It’s Sunday, and God and I decided to stay home from church. It is a glorious day outside, and although I love our church, there are days, like today, that I need to engage with the Holy right where I am.

Every morning I start the day with my morning practice of morning coffee, morning reading, and morning meditation. Except on the days I don’t. On those days, I try to remember all of the other days that I do practice.

However.

It can be so easy to forget what we do, and get lost in judgement about what we don’t. (Just FYI, I never go without my morning coffee.)

My current morning book is Barking To the Choir by Gregory Boyle, founder and Director of Homeboy Industries, the largest gang intervention, rehab and reentry program in the world. My last morning book was his too (Tattoos On The Heart), so I guess I’m kind of crazy about him these days. His work, his wisdom, his wit, and his words. In his work with gang members, he reminds them over and over again that they are exactly who God had in mind. They’ve just forgotten, or never knew it in the first place.

“You are exactly what God had in mind…”

Reminding them of this truth opens the door for them to live into it.

When I first came across those words they nearly jumped off the page. Landing squarely in my heart with the ring of Truth, they’ve continued to echo inside, the words bouncing off the walls of my inner canyons, and returning to my ears again, and again, and again.