Connector + Writer + Speaker
Some days I listen in to The Next Right Thing Podcast with Emily P. Freeman. She introduces it the same way every Tuesday by reminding her listeners that while it is a podcast about making decisions, it is also a podcast about making a life.
Those few words inspire me every time, and are a reminder that the decisions we make create the life we have.
In front of our home there is an expanse of open field that stretches out toward the mountain. Trees are scattered around the perimeter, and on any given day It is likely that you will find one of the many hawks that call our little valley home perched on the top of one of those trees. From that vantage point they are able to scan the entire field for possible prey. These sharp eyed birds don’t spend all of their time on a tree top, nor do they endlessly fly about in search of their next meal. They seem to know that in order to survive, it is necessary to get a good look at the bigger picture before heading out to do what hawks do.
When it comes to us humans, we could take a lesson from these birds of prey. It is easy to get so caught up in our daily rounds that we forget to take time to pull back and get the big picture view. We simply go and do. Go and do. And, go and do some more.
Any free space on our calendars gets filled by the next request, because rather than pause and head to a nearby treetop, we swoop in on the date and time, and if it’s open, we let the next commitment snatch it up. Simply doing something because we can isn’t necessarily a reason to do it.
If we want to spend our days and expend our energy on who and what we value, we have to learn to pull back and get a hawk’s-eye view of the field that is our life.
Photo by Harrison Haines from Pexels
Worry and anxiety are voracious energy consumers. They live in the thoughts that wake us up at 2am in the darkness, gnaw at us through the day, and like the news feed at the bottom of a TV screen, relentlessly assault our attempts to stay grounded and focused. If we can isolate those sources of worry and anxiety, clearly identify them, and begin to address them one by one...just imagine the mental, emotional, and creative bandwidth that would be available to us.
What are your current sources of worry and anxiety?
Choose just one.
Perhaps that one that if you could take care of whatever it is, or at least get it to a place that it no longer consumes your thoughts and fuels your fears, you would have more room to breathe. Be able to think more clearly and creatively.
Break it down.
Attack it piece by piece.
You may not be able to totally resolve the issue or complete the task, but making headway in the right direction gets you one step closer.
And just imagine the mental, emotional, and creative bandwidth that will be available to you.
Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels
It was a cold, wet, dark, drizzly morning in our little neck of the woods. But rain or shine, Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle needs to get outside and get some exercise, and frankly, so do I.
Heading out it didn’t feel like there was much joy in the air, and to be sure, there are days when joy can be hard to come by. Part way down our road we came upon a downed branch from a nearby tree. It was almost twice as long as Gracie with smaller branches sticking out all over, and my thought was to toss it off to the side of the road out of the way of cars. Just throw it away, be done with it, and check the walk-the-dog-in-spite-of-the-cold-wet-dark-drizzly-joyless morning off of my list.
Gracie, however, had a different idea.
She grabbed that stick by one of the branches and took off at full tilt. She shook it this way, and then that way. Head held high, tail up in the air, she pranced up the road, raced in circles, lost her grip on the branch, and snatched it up again. Shaking a stick at the cold, wet, dark, drizzly morning, up and down the road she pranced, around and around the field she raced. She just simply wouldn’t, or more likely couldn’t, quit. She was brown, curly haired joy from tip to tail. Pretty soon, so was I—minus the curly brown hair and tail. Joy, it seems, is contagious.
Rather than shake our fist at a dark day, maybe we can try being like Gracie, and shake a joyful stick at it instead.
Today we purchased a new-to-us car. It is the newest, and the nicest car we’ve ever bought, and adventures await us on the road for sure. But what struck me today wasn’t the new car, but a comment made by one of the employees. Once we had made the decision and were waiting for all the details to be finalized, I was outside leaning against a lamppost when the senior sales manager walked by. I shared with her what a great job the sales associate had done with us…treating us with respect, professionalism, and just plain human kindness. The things we want to occur in any and all interactions we have with anyone else on our shared planet.
This is where it got interesting.
She said, and I quote:
OK… this is kind of weird, she said.
At which point I interrupted her and said… I love weird.
At which point she said, When you and your husband walked up to our counter today, we noticed something about you. You were so warm and kind. As you can imagine, at a car dealership, people come with their pre-conceived notions about what they are going to find, and so we don’t usually get “warm and kind”. After you walked away from the desk, we all looked at each other, pointed to you, and said, “It’s going to be a good day.”
Here’s the thing. Every day we bring with us an aura of who we are, how we are, and the kind of souls we are, or aspire to be. We have an air about us that those around us inhale. Some days I for one do way better than others. Today it was warmth and kindness. Other days, probably not so much.
It seems that today we got it right and had an air about us that had the fragrance of warmth and kindness.
Every time we get in our new-to-us car, I hope to be reminded that whatever we exhale, the air that flows from who and how we are in that moment is going to be inhaled by those around us.
Photo by Darius Krause from Pexels
When morning comes and my eyes open to the dawn of another day, I have to be honest - my first thought isn’t one of welcome and joy. I’m not one who wakes up with a light heart.
I wish it were different. But it’s not.
I’ve tried waking up with gratitude by expressing thankfulness for a new day. And while I am truly, deeply grateful for every day given to me, I just don’t feel that way as I surface from sleep.
I wish it were different. But it’s not.
In my imagination I should wake up filled with happy feelings, ready to grab life by the hand and head out into the new day. In my imagination, if I were truly crafting a meaningful life, I wouldn’t wake up with a feeling that might best be described as melancholy.
I wish it were different. But it’s not.
Wishing it were different doesn’t make it so. It does, however, make it harder.
Parker Palmer, the writer, activist and teacher, refers to the soul as a wild animal. While it may be tough, resilient, resourceful, savvy, and self-sufficient: and, it knows how to survive in hard places, it is also exceedingly shy. Which means that if we want to catch a glimpse of a wild animal hidden in the forest, we must wait quietly, giving it a chance to emerge. So it seems must I wait quietly for my soul to emerge from sleep. Given quiet and time, and, of course, that sacred first cup of French Press coffee, the soul I know as mine makes her appearance. That’s just how she rolls. Taking me by the hand, we are off on another day of crafting a meaningful life.
As we let go of wishing it were different, we are able to welcome it as it is. And that is what makes all the difference.
Photo by Ben Jessop from Pexels
Recently, in conversation with a young professional, we talked about important skills that might help further their professional growth and development. The one that came to mind was the ability to think well on the spot. This wise young person referred to it as thinking on your toes. Now maybe that is a familiar phrase to everyone but me, but I’d never heard it put that way before.
Thinking on our feet is one thing. But thinking on our toes? That takes things to a whole new level.
To think on our toes means that we are poised and ready.
To think on our toes means that we are agile and responsive.
To think on our toes means that we live with anticipation, eager to encounter what life brings our way.
To think on our toes means that we’ve put in the time it takes to be able to trust ourselves in the moment.
To think on our toes means that we won’t get caught flat footed when challenges hit us or opportunity knocks.
To think on our toes means that we see life as the dance that it is, and are always ready to learn new steps.
Photo by Yogendra Singh from Pexels
“Sabbath is more than the absence of work; it is not just a day off, when we catch up on television or errands. It is the presence of something that arises when we consecrate a period of time to listen to what is most deeply beautiful, nourishing, or true. It is time consecrated with our attention, our mindfulness, honoring those quiet forces of grace or spirit that sustain and heal us.”
Wayne Muller, Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives
Today, may we turn our attention to the quiet forces that sustain and heal us.
At the end of an especially intense week full of emotional ups and downs, I am reminded of the importance of letting the dust settle.
After any time of intense emotional turmoil, difficult conversations, and unresolved issues, if you are like me, it is tempting to just keep stirring up the emotional dust. To become our own little swirling dust devils spinning out of control, negatively impacting all within our path.
We would be better served, as would those around us, to give ourselves time to sift through the dust and uncover our true feelings, suss out what lies at the heart of the issue, and wrap our minds around what’s really going on.
Only when the dust has settled, can clearer heads prevail.
MOLLY DAVIS is the founder of Trailhead Coaching & Consulting. She writes about lessons and adventures from the trail, and knows from firsthand experience that sometimes the only way to discover where you want to be, is to get lost where you don't. If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to pass it along.
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