Living With It
There are parts of myself that I wish I could resolve, put to rest, or leave behind. One of those is the feeling of anger that flashes, usually inwardly, but occasionally outwardly. It’s been with me for as long as I can remember, and yet I would love to think that I could unravel this thread that runs through my life, and leave it behind me for good and all. But the more likely truth is that I can’t, and I won’t, so rather than angst about it, I am learning to accept that it, like all the other parts of me, are probably going to stick around until I leave the planet.
It is an important emotion, and I probably couldn’t survive without it. Anger lets me know when something is out of whack, out of balance, or out of order, and conveys that there is something I need to say, do, or consider. However, sometimes it’s just a flash that gets triggered without a call to some sort of action on my part other than to sit with it until it dissipates. I’ve had therapy about it, processed it, prayed, written and talked about it, figured out where it comes from, who it comes from, and yet for better or for worse, it seems to be here to stay, and will be until I die.
I’ve decided that I can live with that.
Word Play
Because I am never in more danger of being wrong then when I’m certain that I’m right, and because nobody likes a know-it-all, I’m playing around with some new words.
I could be wrong about that.
You could be right about that.
Believe it or not, it’s actually kind of fun. Most of the time.
Laying The Groundwork
Three Points Of Contact
Wisdom is the art of living in rhythm with your soul, your life, and the divine.
- John O’Donohue
When climbing a steep slope, scrambling over boulders, or as we did recently, a combination of both, it is important to remember to always keep three points of contact so as not to lose one’s balance. Falling in such a situation can lead to serious injury or worse. The same is true as we navigate the slopes and boulders and sometimes precarious trails that are our life.
Stay in touch with your soul, your true self.
Stay in touch with your life, the one that you are here to live in order to leave the world better because of you.
Stay in touch with the divine, that which is bigger than you, the presence the surrounds and supports and shelters you.
A Question Worth Answering
Today in another rich conversation with my spiritual director, the topic of things I want to make happen, work I want to step into, but haven’t, came up. Again.
After a thoughtful pause, he quietly posed a question. What has kept you from stepping into it up until now? Now that is a question worth answering.
What is something you have really wanted to do? But haven’t.
What is something you have really wanted to make happen? But haven’t?
What is something you have really wanted to bring to life? But haven’t?
What is something you have really wanted to accomplish? But haven’t?
What has kept you from stepping into it up until now?
Now that is a question worth answering.
For all of us.
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Grace
We are all in need of grace. Or at least I am. I seem to get things wrong as often as I get them right, and what keeps me going is the grace I receive over and over and over again. Sometimes, however, it is easy to forget that everyone else is in as much need of grace as I am, and yet the ones who need it the most are often the ones I want to extend it to the least. Which is why it is fast becoming one of my most necessary spiritual practices.
Grace is a choice, and the harder the choice, the greater the grace.
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Hidden Blessings
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1
The last thing on her list was a patio off the back of her home. Hers is an old house from which she is writing a new chapter, and reflecting on her past and imagining her future would happen best in an outdoor sanctuary in her own back yard. It wouldn’t have to be big. Just enough room for outdoor furniture, some pots, a place to sip morning coffee and gather with friends for a glass of wine in the evening.
But the to-do list is long, the days for sitting out on a patio are growing shorter, and building one from the ground up would call upon already stretched resources of time, energy, and the help of others. As much as she yearned for a sacred outdoor space to call her own, looking out on her back yard she quietly let go and decided to be content with what she had, while never losing sight of what might be. If that isn’t faith, I don’t know what is.
Heading out into the back yard the next morning to dig up some weeds, her shovel hit something hard. A few shovels full of dirt later she discovered an old brick. Digging further, another one. And then another, and another, and another, until an old brick patio, buried under half a foot of sod, appeared. It had been there all along. Exactly what she had imagined and even better than what she’d hoped for, had she pushed to make a new patio happen she would have missed the blessing hidden right beneath her feet.
“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” – Brene Brown
On A Dime
All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given us.
~ GandalfJ.R.R Tolkien: The Fellowship of the Ring
It is good to remember that our days are numbered. It is hard to be reminded of how quickly our number can be up. Let’s make our lives count.
It is good to remember that life is the currency given to us to spend as we choose. It is hard to be reminded that life can turn on a dime. Let’s spend our lives well.
Making Friends With It
Without trying to ruin your day, we’re all going die. From the moment we enter the world we are already on our way out, so the sooner we make friends with our own death, the sooner we can befriend the life that is ours to live.
Death is not the enemy. It is the unlived life that is.
