“Consider this: the only person you’re guaranteed to be with every day of your life is you.”
When I read this sentence, it landed as true. And if it’s true, then we’d best get on with becoming the kind of person we’d like to hang out with.
The Basement
Today we tackled the basement. Old memories, holiday decorations, collections of this and that, things saved in case needed to repair other things, and on and on and on. Everything down there had a story, and it was hard to know where to start, what to save, what to store, and what to sell.
It was a daunting task.
When faced with a daunting task, it is almost impossible to take the first step.
When faced with a daunting task, it is almost impossible to do anything but take the first step.
When faced with a daunting task, it is that first step that makes the next step possible. And the next, and the next, and the next.
The basement is where we put things that we want to think about later. When later comes, a step at a time, what was daunting becomes doable, and what is doable becomes done.
Give Me A Break
Yesterday was a very big day for Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle. We had a private training session where she learned some big new things, and she did great. Later in the day she came with us to a community dinner where she practiced being calm in the midst of her greatest temptations to go crazy, and she did great.
Today, she is completely worn out. It was our plan to build on the training that we started yesterday, and she wasn’t having any of it. In every way she knew how she was telling us that she needed a break. A day of rest to just be, and not do, and that is exactly what she got.
We would all do well to follow her example. When everything in us is telling us to take a break, let’s do everything we can to do that. Take a day, or an hour, or fifteen minutes to just be, and not do.
What Do We Allow?
“Whatever you allow gets reinforced.”
Matt Luchisnger
This morning in a private training session with Matt, owner North West Balanced Dog Training, as we were talking about Gracie-the-chocolate-labradoodle, he reminded us that whatever we allow her to do reinforces that particular behavior. If we ask her to lie down, and she begins to inch her way (still on her belly of course, since she’s a clever little girl) closer and closer to a toy or morsel of food, and we allow it, we’ve just reinforced that she is welcome to do so. Which she isn’t. Not if we want her to take us seriously. Which we do.
Prior to Gracie it just never occurred to me that what works when training a dog works pretty well when training a human too. Allow fearful thoughts to creep further in, and they will. Allow others to treat us with disrespect, and they will. Allow ourselves to look for the negative, and we will. Allow old stories to rule our life, and they will.
Whatever we allow gets reinforced.
Cleaning Up Our Mess
Any good dog owner knows that it is their responsibility to clean up after their pup, especially when in shared public spaces. Scoop up whatever gets deposited, take it back home, and throw it in the trash can.
It’s pretty straightforward.
If it’s our mess, we clean it up.
Today, returning from a morning walk with a friend and her dog, toting a poop bag, we came across an obviously filled bag that someone had decided to leave near the sidewalk, assuming I guess, that someone else would take care of it. They assumed right. We did.
However.
That’s not how it works.
If it’s our mess, we clean it up.
We clean up after our dogs, and ourselves for that matter, we don’t leave it for someone else to take care of.
If it’s our fault, we clean it.
If we hurt someone, we clean it up.
If we get it wrong, we clean it up.
If we make a poor choice, we clean it up.
If we avoid what is ours to do, we clean it up.
If it’s our mess, we clean it up.
Life can be messy enough without having to pick up after someone else.
Full Circle
“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” T. S. Elliot
From the moment we arrive on the planet, we are meant to be at home in our own hearts, and yet we often wander far and wide in search of what has always been right here.
We look outside of ourselves for love and belonging, rather than remembering to love and belong to ourselves.
We look to others to do for us what we are meant to do for ourselves.
We look to our work to give our lives meaning rather than bringing our lives to our work in a meaningful way.
The only path home brings us full circle back to ourselves.
Welcome home.
Working With What We’ve Got
It is so easy to add something new. To take a quick trip to the grocery store for a few more things rather than using what’s already in our fridge. To search for another piece of clothing rather than using what’s already in our closet. To take another online course rather than using the gifts and skills already in our wheelhouse. To paint the walls a different color rather than working with the one that’s already there.
Learning to work with what we’ve got calls on our creativity and imagination.
Learning to work with what we’ve got helps us put our talents to good use in new ways.
Learning to work with what we’ve got expands our capacity to solve problems.
Learning to work with what we’ve got teaches us to be content with what have.
Learning to work with what we’ve got helps us to be grateful for the life that is already ours.
Today a dear friend showed up with lunch in the midst of a big day of moving another dear friend into her new home. Rather than going to the store to buy more groceries for our lunch, she simply worked with what she had. And it was perfect.
Sticking To Our Stories…Or Not
The good news is that we have arrived to this day carrying all of our stories with us.
The bad news is that we have arrived to this day carrying all of our stories with us.
The good news is that we can choose to set down the stories that no longer serve us.
The bad news is that we don’t always do that.
The good news is that we can choose to write new stories.
The bad news is that we don’t always do that.
The good news is that we get to choose what kind of news we want.
Voice Lessons
Find your voice.
Trust your voice.
Use your voice.
Repeat.
The View
Have you ever put on someone else’s eyeglasses by mistake? Or grabbed an old pair of your own and realized that the lenses through which you see the world today aren’t the same as they were a few years ago?It is so easy to forget that we all see the world differently, and that our own view changes over time as well. When we take the time to understand one another’s perspectives, it goes a long way toward creating better communication, deeper connection, and greater compassion.
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