None of us sees the world in exactly the same way, and the needs that we each have are as different as we are from one another. Understanding this, and knowing what to do about it, is the good, and hard work of human relationships. Especially with those we care about the most.

It seems to be in our nature to give love and respect to others in the ways in which we want to receive them ourselves. To express our needs and wants in the language and timing that works for us. And here’s the clincher—we expect others to know what we want and need from them without having to tell them. None of these are good ideas. I know this because I’ve tried them for years with the same results. Hurt feelings, disappointment, resentment, loneliness, frustration, anger…I could keep going but you probably catch my drift. Maybe you share some version of the same drift too.

If we don’t want the same old same old., we have to try something new.

Rather than expecting others to know what we need and how to love us well, let’s tell them Specifically.

Rather than guessing what others need and how to love them well, let’s ask them. Specifically.

With practice we just might find ourselves catching a new and better drift.