We’ve been talking about it for months. The first serious cross-country road trip that is just for the two of us. The dates are on our calendar, and we even pulled the trigger on purchasing the newest car we’ve ever owned with this particular trip in mind.

Sitting down with a glass of wine, notebook, calendar, and a US Map, we started to chart our course. At one point I put down my pen and looked at what I’d written based on our possible stops. It didn’t look like the trip I’d been imagining in my head. Too much push to get too many places, not enough time to pause and enjoy where we might find ourselves. I still wanted to take the trip. Just not this one.

We stopped plotting our route and started talking about what we wanted out of the experience. What were the most important elements for each of us? Which ones did we share and where did we differ? The process made us remember something one of our therapists told us years ago. If she were sitting with us at that table, she would remind us, again, that it doesn’t really matter where we go, where we stay, or how long we are gone. What matters is when we get home and unpack, is our relationship better for having gone, or not.

Could we be more excited about heading down the road together?

No.

Are we in agreement on what it will look like?

Absolutely not.

At least not yet.

But we will be.

Our trip is a work in progress, just like we are.