Nobody tells you how hard it is going to be. That a mother’s day requires everything you have to give, and a lot of what you don’t. That the needs of others can drown out your own, and that in watching out for your children, you can easily lose sight of yourself

Don’t do that.

One of the most important gifts we can give to our children, no matter what stage in life, is a mom who loves and cares for herself. A tall order no matter how you cut it. At the beginning, learning to care for ourselves feels like a radical act, kind of like staging our own revolution. But no meaningful change throughout history has happened without a lot of rabble-rousers tiring of the status quo. To change the course of our own histories is no different. We have to become rebels for our own cause, knowing that it will ruffle a lot of feathers, including our own. Meeting our own needs often collides with those of others, and it is uncomfortable for everyone as we begin to care for ourselves in new ways.

Sometimes all we can eke out is a dropper full of self-care. Ten quiet minutes alone, a walk around the block, a hot shower, or heating up leftovers, again. Managing a whole pitcher of care can be hard to come by, but to live with our glass half full means refilling it whenever and however we can. Being able to step back and catch our breath will mean that someone else will have to step up. Let them.

Self-care means discovering what we need in order to show up for what life requires. It is about equipping ourselves well so that we are well equipped for the life we have, including loving and caring for our children.

It’s not about being self-centered.

It’s about living from a centered self.