In conversation with others about holiday plans, there is often reference to what could best be called an obligatory trip to visit parents and grandparents. The kind of trek made out of a sense of duty. Maybe relationships have become strained, political viewpoints sit across aisles that seem too wide to cross, or years-old wounds have never healed. Whatever the reason, such trips are difficult at best, and even damaging at worst.

Whenever I hear others speak of making such trips it reminds me of how much I don’t ever want to become one of those people who is the recipient of a visit made out of a sense of obligation rather than connection, one of duty rather than delight.

How do we become the elders that people can’t wait to visit?

Is it by becoming stuck in our ways?

Is it by being certain of what the younger generation should do to fix their lives?

Is it by sticking to our political, moral, and religious guns no matter what?

Probably not.