Through The Eyes Of Another
A book that has profoundly impacted me and those I love is The Road Back To You: An Enneagram Journey To Self-Discovery by Ian Cron & Suzanne Stabile. I think every person on the planet should read it.
In a very, very small nutshell, and in my own words, it presents an entry level introduction to the Enneagram, an ancient personality typing system that suggests that we each fall into one of nine types. Each type sees the world through a different lens. Understanding the lens through which we see the world, and through which other see the world, can be a game changer.
In the last chapter of the book the authors write about a nurse who works with children who have profound visual impairments. Her work includes leading support groups for the parents of these children. They write: ”…the most valuable part of the workshops comes when Rebecca hands the parents eyeglasses that correlate to each child’s specific disability. Almost always the parents burst into tears. ‘I had no idea this is the way my child sees the world’ they tell her. Once they have the experience of observing through their children’s eyes, they never experience the world in quite the same way again.”
These children and their parents are facing immense and painful challenges. While these are challenges that many of us will never face, it strikes me that we are all visually impaired when it comes to understanding how others see the world. Imagine the difference it might make to look out through the lens of another person, and to experience the world as they experience it. To see what they see, and feel what they feel as a result of how they take in the world around them.
I wish there was a way to create eyeglasses that specifically correlate to the way in which we each see the world, but there isn’t. Which means that the only way to understand one another better is through authentic conversation. It requires a willingness to share honestly and listen deeply, all with the intent of a deeper and more compassionate understanding. If we are willing to look at the world through the eyes of others, we might never experience the world in quite the same way again. And that could be a very good thing.