If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Feedback is always a gift. Not because it is always right, but because it offers us another perspective. Honestly, I can’t count the number of times I’ve posited that idea to people. Whether in a workshop setting or with individual coaching clients, I’ve outlined the advantages of being willing to hear what others have to say about and to us. About how the feedback of others offers us a perspective other than our own, and can help us see into our blind spots, become better communicators, leaders, colleagues, partners, parents, and friends. And, it can help us become better writers too.

It’s easy to preach the importance of developing not only a willingness, but also an eagerness to receive feedback. However, like most things, it is much, much harder to practice than preach. This morning over breakfast I asked Tom what he thought of my latest blog post. He liked it, he said, although he had one small suggestion. He is one of my best and most trusted editors and I’ve learned to value his feedback (mostly), but this morning my inner hackles immediately went up. He commented that there was a line that felt disconnected from the rest of the piece. It was a metaphorical jump too far for him. Of course, it was the one line in the post that I liked the most, and frankly thought was what pulled the whole piece together at the end. His feedback, in that moment, did not feel like anything close to a gift.

However.

Taking some time to let those raised hackles settle back down, I considered how I might take his suggestion to make a line I loved even stronger. Could I wordsmith things just a bit more and get an even better result? Of course, as often happens when my first response is defensive, with a little reflection I was able to see things in a different light. One that was only made possible through the feedback of someone else. It allowed me to circle back and take another look. As a result of his perspective, one different than my own, the piece held together even better. A line I loved to begin with became even stronger.

Feedback is always a gift. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

(Revised version: A Circle)